Part 2: Secrets
by SoulfullyInclined
Summary: 'Karen', 'Reunion', Part 2. Flashbacks every other chapter. I don't own anyone. *Life and quality of the story depends on the reviews*. *Please Leave More Than A 2 Word Review*. *Please Review*. *Be Nice/Kind*. *If you review I'll write more*. Edited.
1. Chapter 103

**Jesse**

After Evan had come home he, Karen, Pam and I'd had an argument during which time Marie must've gone to her and Ashley's room. We all went to sleep around 2 this morning. Ashley as usual was up an hour later going to ballet then school. Karen and I got up at 6. We'd all had breakfast except for Amanda and Kate then everyone but Evan and Marie had gone to school. Marie had gone downtown and Kate was in the hospital. Karen had gone to work Evan to his place and Pam elsewhere.

That day while the others minus Kate who was at the hospital were at school and Marie was downtown I went into Marie's room. I looked around trying to think where if I were a 14 year old young woman where I'd hide money. Everyone hid money or diaries under their mattresses so that one was too obvious. And anyone would think to look in drawers.

Then it hit me. If I didn't want my dad to find something then I'd wear the evidence. Well I'd put the evidence in what I was wearing.

I went to her closet and opened it. Standing in a line were several pairs of her trademark thigh high leather black stilettos. I approached them and looked inside. I couldn't see very much inside the boots the inside of which were dark. I turned on the closet light bent and looked inside. Stuffed inside was a box. I took out the box and sure enough were several 20's. I took them out replaced the box turned off the light and left.


	2. Chapter 101

**Marie**

When I got home that night I went to my and ash leys room to my closet to make sure it was still there. It being the money I made from work I'd hidden in a jewelry box in a pair of my tall black leather stilettos. When I opened the box and looked in I found it was empty. I was confused. I wondered who'd taken my money and why. Had we been robbed?

I looked around the room. Everything else was in order.

-XXX-

I didn't see Ashley in the room or anywhere upstairs so I went downstairs where I also didn't see her. I then went out onto the front porch where she was smoking.

"Hey Ashley?" I asked.

She turned her head in the dark; "yeah hun?"

"Have you seen my…my money?"

"Money? From what?"

"From um. Work."

"It's not where you left it?"

No obviously it wasn't or else I wouldn't be asking her.

"Um. No."

"Oh. Well then I haven't seen it. Um anyway I have to go to work in a few so…but I do need to talk to you later."

I became worried.

"Oh you're not in trouble. I'm just. Curious I guess I'd call it."

"Ok we'll talk when you get back."

"Ok."

I went back inside.

I got another text from the same number. It read;

so your dad took your money and now you don't have any left. what are you going to do now? how are you going to help pay your sisters hospital bills? if you work more he'll only take that money. well unless you hide it. xoxo


	3. Chapter 1

**marie**

Keisha and id met when we both had the same client which didn't often happen. The guys friend had picked me up. She was already in the car. I slid into the back next to her. The seatbelts were broken cut in we couldn't use them. I wondered the story behind this.

"hi," I said quietly, "im Marie."

"hey Keisha."

"you new here?"

"yeah im-"

"ladies no talking," the driver said.

I could feel Keisha looking at me in a way no one else quite had. I noticed her study my thinness.

Id always been thin. I was like the modern day Edith Piaf. Small and thin and French. A singer too though not many knew this. Because my mom and I hadn't had much money back in Paris we therefore hadn't had much food. And whenever Jesse and Karen had food I didn't eat it. This was partially out of habit and another reason. My mother always told me that 2/3 of our money was to be saved 'in case'. I was never quite sure what she meant by this but never questioned her as I figured she knew what she was talking about. Maybe it had something to do w/ how shed grown up which I hadn't known much about. And hadn't had the chance to ask before she went.

"hey," Keisha whispered in her softest whisper.

I turned away from my thoughts and looked at her.

'yes?' I mouthed.

"I think you're beautiful."

"um. Thank you."

"cmere."

I hesitated unsure.

"cmere it;s ok."

She moved her index finger towards her. I moved closer. When we were touching she leaned down and put her finger down the side of one of my high stiletto boots and just barely scratched my skin. She moved her finger up my leg. When she got to my nether regions I tensed.

"shhh."

"I…I."

"what happened?"

"I cant not right now."

"ok."

I leaned against her chest for the rest of the ride.


	4. Chapter 1088888888888999999999

_**Anna**_

_I was 7 the first time I found my first bruise. Not the age I am now, 10._

_At my age, I knew children were always getting bruises and cuts so I didn't think anything of it._

_Kate was 10, the twins were 11 and Evan was 15. Kate had been taken to the hospital again and Mom and Dad were talking with one of the nurses. The twins were coloring in the waiting room. Evan and I had wandered off, in different directions._

_I was sitting in a comfortable blue chair, bored. It was raining outside._

_I looked down at my arm and noticed a small light blue circle on it. Out of curiosity I pressed it. It didn't hurt._

-XXXX-

_The first time I got sick also happened to be the day I found the bruise. It was after dinner and I was starting to feel a little nauseous. I went upstairs to the cold white bathroom, where I left both the white toilet lids open and waited. Mom and Dad were downstairs, talking. Everyone else was in their rooms. After awhile, nauseou crept up from my stomach, into my chest and out of me when I leaned over the toilet. At my age, I knw children often got colds and the flu. I started feeling more tired than usual. Several days later I got more bruises. The weird thing was, when I went to school I wasn't contagious, which is how I knew it wasn't just a cold or the flu._


	5. Chapter 91111111111

**Louisa**

It was later that night. My sisters Lily, Rose and myself were all in the room my twin Amanda and I shared. She was over at Evan's. Mom and Dad were downstairs. Moms friend Pamela and our sister Ashley were over at Pamela's. Everyone else was asleep.

"I just, wish I knew what to do. How to help her," I said, regarding my twin.

"I know you do Louisa," Lily said.

"And not even Karen can figure out why," Rose put in.

why she has an eating disorder.

Ashley, lily, rose, Marie, Hannah, alexa were all adopted which is why rose referred to mom as 'Karen'. Amanda, Kate, Anna and I weren't adopted. Ashley, Marie, Hannah and alexa were our other siblings. Evan was our brother he wasn't adopted.

"Yeah, but she's so busy with Kate..." I added.

That mom wouldn't notice Mandy.

"It's not Kate's fault she's sick," Lily said.

"Yeah. But Amanda's sick too. And no one but myself and Evan seems to notice. They're all too busy with Kate. I wish no one was sick."

"It's not like it's a cold or the flu, where it goes away in a week," Lily observed.

"No it's not. It's cancer. It's...and...so's Amanda's disease. It's ongoing."

With that we fell asleep.


	6. Chapter 11

**9 a.m.**

**Ashley**

"Marie you gotta get up," I said to my sister that morning going into her room.

"I'm tired," she replied.

"You're tired because you've been out all night prostituting."

"I have nothing to do today Ashley."

"Not true you have a therapy session with pam."

"We don't talk."

"You don't talk because you won't talk. Not because she doesn't try."

"I wish mom were here."

"Well she's not."

"Not Karen. My mom."

Oh.

"Oh. Well she's not she's…." I began.

"Yeah I know. Dead."

"C'mon I'll make breakfast."

"I don't want breakfast."

"Well I'm making it anyway whether you want it or not."

"I've been too depressed to prostitute."

This surprised me.

"Yeah and apparently you've been too depressed to talk."

"It's not easy," she said.

"It's not easy for any of us this isn't news."

"You…haven't been doing that?" I asked.

"No."

"Oh. Wow. Well. Then what do you do all night?"

"I got to Lola's."

"Lola's the café/bar?"

"No my friend. Lola's."

"Oh."

A few weeks ago we'd moved from our place into Pam's when she'd moved into ours.

Marie had become a ghost in our own house. Well not our house pams house. But she didn't moan. Maybe if she were out making money having sex shed be moaning. She barely ate. Sat around cried slept. Sometimes shed come down for breakfast dinner. But she didn't eat. I didn't know where she was when she wasn't at home but I assumed downtown. She seemed really depressed.


	7. Chapter 17

**Ashley**

After the meeting Mandy and I were in my room looking at the songs on my windows media player. We were picking the tracklist for Mandy's CD. I was the best person for Mandy to come to since I had a multitude of music in my media player.

"Hey what about the money you got from your mom? Wasn't she like really rich or something?" Mandy asked.

She was referring to my biological mom who'd died when I was little.

"Um, no. But she was careful w/ money always."

"So…?"

"Well. Don't tell anyone but I've been writing anonymous checks to our dad to help pay the hospital bills."

"Oh. Ok. And I wont."


	8. Chapter 10

Mandy

After the meeting evan and I'd gone to his place.

* * *

That night Evan and I were in his living room.

"So," he said.

"Yeah?" I asked from my spot on the rectangular black leather sofa.

He was on the floor which was less comfortable.

"Tom told me he thinks you should make a CD."

Tom was the 20 year old boyfriend of our 16 year old sister Alexa.

I could barely get the words out of my mouth; "I…..he…..what?"

"He told me. He thinks you should. Make-"

"Yeah I know I'm just. Wow."

"Surprised."

"Yeah. I'll have to find somewhere to record and make a track list and make cover art and buy the cases and all. That."

"Dad and I could help you w/ the cover art."

"Ok."


	9. Chapter 19

**Rose**

After the meeting I went to my dad who was in his room.

"Yes?" he said looking up sensing my presence.

He'd been drawing when I came in.

"Um I was thinking…..that….I could do the grocery shopping," I said.

I was hoping he'd trust me enough to do that. Not that he knew I'd been pilfering but I was worried he'd find out.

"I'll watch for sales and clip coupons in the paper and print them out online," I finished.

"That's fine."

"Ok."

I left.


	10. plagued by

**_Marie_**

_It was day. Id just woken up Keisha was still asleep. Sunlight streamed in from the closed curtains. Our room was dark. I stretched next to her and kissed her on the back of her neck. Her skin smelled like cologne from last night._

_"mmm morning baby," she said waking up._

_"Hi morning," I replied._

_"How'd you sleep?"_

_"Ok and you?"_

_"Good."_

_She turned to face me._

_"Why just ok?"_

_"I was plagued by dreams of my mother. And. Well. And you."_

_"What about me?"_

_"You. I don't want to scare you."_

_"Marie you know you can tell me anything."_

_She was on top of me now._

_"Ok um well…..you're going to die."_

_"When soon?"_

_I nodded._

_"wow."_


	11. Chapter 14

**Marie**

That night I was at work with Lola and the other women standing in a line on the sidewalk. No one had come to pick us up yet though it was early, so. I went over to Lola.

"Hey baby," she said.

"Hi um listen," I began.

"Hm what is it?"

"Listen can I stay with you for a few days? I need to get away from my dad."

"He's hurting you huh?"

"Well…." I was about to explain that it wasn't exactly like that.

"It's alrite you don't have to explain further. And sure."

"Thanks."

"Of course."

* * *

After work I went to Lola's small apt. there was a dresser against one wall a mirror opposite. A mattress against another. It was dark.

"Um sorry that's not much room," she said pausing by the doorway; "sometimes the light works and sometimes" - she flicked the light switch on the wall but nothing happened, "it doesn't."

I was standing in the hall.

"Hey come in. They don't like people blocking up the hall."

I laughed looked up and down the hall.

"I only see one person so there's not much possibility of 'blocking up the hall' " I air-quoted.

"Yeah but people come in here all hours of the day and night, so. Well I mean not here not….in my apt. but you know."

"Yeah."

I stepped inside.

"And I don't mind the size. Long as I'm away from. Him."

She went to the mattress and sat on it.

"Close the door will ya?" she said looking at me.

I closed the door.

"So what happened?" she asked quietly.

-XXX-

After I'd told Lola everything a knock came on the door. Lola and I looked towards it. She pulled a knife from her boot. It was an hour later.

"For protection," she explained.

"Oh," was all I said.

Evan texted me; hey its evan. Open up.

Ok I texted back.

I looked at Lola.

"Relax," I told her, "it's just my brother."

"Oh."

"We gotta let him in."

She lowered the knife but didn't put it away. She held it at her side.

I went to the big door and opened it. There stood Evan.

"Hey come in," I told him.

He came in. I closed the door behind him. He glanced at the knife.

"For protection. Not that I don't trust you I don't trust. Um. People," Lola explained.

Evan looked at Lola; "no I get it. It's cool. You're cool."

He didn't seem at all put out by it.

She smiled; "thanks. I'm Lola by the way."

"Hey Evan Marie's brother," Evan looked at me, "so where is it?"

I went over to the dresser and crouched near it.

"How'd you find me?" I asked dislodging the money from the underside of the dresser.

"I asked around," Evan replied.

"Oh."

I got the money and gave it to him.

"Thanks I'll put this in the bank," he said going to the door, "it was nice meeting you Lola."

"Yeah you too hun," she told him.

He left closing the door behind him.

"So that's your brother?" Lola asked coming over to me on the mattress and smiling.

"Yeah," I replied.

She sat next to me; "he's cute. He taken?"

"I uh don't know."

"Well maybe one of these nights he comes over here and I find out."

"You don't win someone over by having sex w/ them honey. Not if you want a meaningful relationship."

I was 14 and I even knew this.

"What I'm not hot?"

"That's not what I'm saying."

"Well what if we do it backwards?"

"That's a little. Unconventional."

"Yeah but it just might work."


	12. Chapter 8

_**Marie**_

_It was 7 that night. As usual I was downtown. The other girls were waiting in front of a tall building in a line. I was with them. Cassie's warning to us was "don't get killed". Always, before we left for the night. She['d] said it jokingly, but with me it really hit home even though I was far from home._

_A car pulled up [to the curb] which signaled it was keisha's turn to go. She came to me. We kissed._

_"Bye honey," she told me._

_"Bye," I returned._

_She went [over] to the car and leaned in. cassie and Rebecca, or ginger as she was known, had [already] left. That left only me._


	13. Chapter 16

**Thursday**

**Marie**

It was sometime the next day when I woke up. The first thing I saw was the wall. I felt movement behind me and was disoriented for a few seconds untill I realized where I was.

"ya gotta wake up baby we got work in a few," lola said from behind me.

A few what? Minutes or hours?

"a few what?" I asked.

"hours."

Oh.

"oh."

I felt tired but also rested.

"how long have I been. Um. Asleep?" I asked.

"most of the day."

Oh. Wow. Cant remember the last time I slept that well. Or that long.

"I slept so well," I remarked.

"yeah. you've got a lot on your mind and your tiredness finally took over," lola said.

"I cant remember the last time I slept that long."

"yeah well. As said. Plus ya got me," I could tell lola was smilin.

I moved.

She sat up behind me; "anyway ya comin?"

"um no."

I again really didn't feel like doing much. Or going anywhere.

"alrite well ill work double the shift for ya," she told me.

"mmm ok," I said.

"and ill make sure to lock the door. You get into any trouble you call me ok?"

"umk."

"bye," she kissed me and left.

Well she was bubbly.


	14. the bar

_It was later that night and James and I were at the bar. It was my first time at a bar but not my first time drinking since sometimes Chris and I had a few sips of wine at his place. James looked very nice in deep blue. I was in a form fitting yellow and purple dress on my 2nd Malibu which was ordered with cranberry juice. While ordering it James had told the sexy bartender "hey get me another one for my girl. On me," to which the bartender said "you're not tryin to get her drunk are you?" "hey we've agreed that 4 drinks is her limit. Right babe?". I smiled shyly at the bartender saying "yeah. 4 drinks is m'limit". One thing I was good at was southern charm even though our family had lived in Ohio for the last 60 years and still was._

_A popular r&b song came over the loudspeakers and my brother's face lit up: "aw man I love this song."_

_"Go ahead and dance you have fun," I told him dismissing him with my hand._

_"I'll see if I can find you a dance partner though you surely don't need it."_

_He left going out on the dance floor._

_As I listened to the song I realized it was Jamie Foxx's 'blame it on the alcohol'._

_"Girlfriend ello hola!" a familiar Spanish voice called._

_I turned and there was santanna in this adorable red black and white polka dot dress. She was with puck._

_"Hey yall," I said smiling._

_"What are you doing here?" puck asked._

_"Nice to see you too. Geez puck be nice to the chick," santanna said punching him._

_He bent over clutching his stomach._

_The bartender looked at him. Puck looked back, bringing one of his hands up and in the direction of the bartender: "I'm good man I'm good."_

_"oh, my brother took me out. We haven't had the best – and you?" I asked interrupting myself._

_"We needed a night out."_

_"Oh."_

_Puck stood behind me and put his hands on my shoulders: "dang girl you need to loosen up."_

_"I know way she'll loosen up," santanna said as puck began rubbing._

_"And what is that?"_

_"megage trios."_

_"omygod. You guys," I giggled._

_"Well it's true sex cures everything."_

_"You don't have to tell me that."_

_"Yeah you were in love with the mayor of gaytown over there."_

_"I did not know that when I was in love with him. Hey how'd you get past the front door guys?"_

_"Please honey with this body? Not a problem," santanna answered._

_"Oh that's right."_

_She was one of the hottest chicks in school._

_"So which one is he?"_

_"My brother?" I asked._

_"Yes your brother who the hell do you think James dean?"_

_"He's right…there," I answered leaning in and pointing him out._

_"oooh he is fine if I do say so myself."_

_"Go ahead and dance with him honey."_

_Santanna left going out onto the dance floor._

_"Your, brother?" the bartender asked eyeing me._

_"Oh you know how it is among black folk," I said gesturing with my hand._

_"I gather he'd be none too happy about yall hangin out," he said, referring to puck and i._

_"We're not exclusive."_

_"Oh. I haven't seen you 2 kiss yet."_

_"We're both too shy to make the first move. Pour me another drink."_

_"Yeah and this ones," puck said appearing beside me, looking at me, "on me."_

_"Well that's awfully nice of you."_

_"Least I can do. So really dollface what's eatin you?"_

_"Since when is this the '40's?" I countered._

_"If you want we can talk outside. I'm pretty sure you can bring your drink with you."_

_"Yeah since it's…." I looked around, suddenly nervous, "quieter."_

_"Yeah, a lot quieter. Cmon. I'll get your drink."_

_Puck picked up my Malibu and led me outside._

* * *

_-XXXX-_

_Once outside we noticed it was quiet and lighter than the bar which had moving lights. The night was warm but windy and the summer air smelled of lilacs. Puck took my cold hand in his warm one and led me across the parking lot away from the building. The parking lot lights were lit and stationary. I was surprised by how quiet it was._

_We sat on a car stop not the most comfortable thing. I leaned against puck who put his arm around me and held my drink in the other hand._

_"So he's like," he began."_

_"Yeah?" I asked._

_"Actually your brother?"_

_"Oh. Yeah._

_"Ok. Want your drink?"_

_"Sure. Why the hell not? Things suck anyway."_

_He handed my drink to me. I took it. He squeezed my shoulder._

_"shit it's quiet," I said taking a sip of my drink._

_"Yeah….not so many distractions here."_

_"Yeah….and I'm not sure that's a good thing," I said annoyed._

_"So you want to be distracted?"_

_"Yeah."_

_He sucked in his breath._


	15. Chapter 9

**6 a.m.**

**Marie**

It was just before sunrise. Myself and the young women I worked with were sitting downtown in a circle on cement stairs.

"Now the reason I called you all here this early is because I have some bad news," our boss Cassie said.

She had red hair and blue eyes.

"What is it?" Lola asked.

She had long dark hair and dark eyes.

"Well. A member died last night."

"Who?" Sophie wanted to know.

She had dark curly hair and dark eyes.

"Keisha."

Tears sprouted to my eyes.

"Omygod," I said.

"Marie I am so sorry. I know how close you 2 were," Ginger told me.

She had red hair and brown eyes.

"How?" Sophie ventured to ask.

"Well last night after she was done with a customer he. He murdered her," Cassie informed us.

"Just, like my mom," I realised.

"Do we know who it is?" Lola asked

"I. I do. And my dad does," I put in, recalling last night.

When he found me downtown he might've seen the last customer Keisha got into a car with.

"Isn't your dad an artist?" Lola asked, looking at me.

"Yeah but he used to be cop."

"Oh."

"Isn't that a little, um, oxymoronic though? I mean, calling the cops cuz someone murdered a prostitute? That' s like...2 crimes in one," Sophie pointed out.

I stood up and started going down the stairs.

"You alrite Marie?" Ginger asked.

"I just. Need to be by myself for awhile," I replied.

"Ok."

I wandered around downtown untill I found an empty park. I sat down and texted Evan. I watched the sun rise but all I could think about was the immense sadness I felt.

I then wen tto sleep.


	16. Chapter 18

**Evan**

It was the middle of the morning the next morning. Mandy and I were up, in the living room. Outside, rain was falling. Leonard Cohen was playing on my CD player.

"Hopefully today will go better," Mandy said.

"Yeah we'll see," I returned.

My phone buzzed.

"Crap," I muttered.

I picked up my phone and read the text. It was from Marie.

**evan i need to talk to you. Im the b&n downtown**, it read.

"Mandy," I said, getting up.

"Yeah?"

"I hate to do this to you but I gotta get downtown. Marie needs me."

"Ok."

I went out of my apartment, bringing 2 umbrellas and the usual objects – keys, phone, wallet - with me. I got into my jeep and drove downtown where I found a parking spot by the Barnes & Noble. I went inside, where it was warm. I looked around and couldn't find Marie on the first floor so I took the escalator to the second. I spotted my sister sitting at a round table in the cafe. She was dressed entirely in black. Her long curly hair was spilling down her back.

I went over and joined her at the table.

"Hey," I said quietly, "you ok?"

She lifted her head. I could tell by the tears in her blue eyes she wasn't.

"No," she replied.

She took a sip of her cup of chai tea.

"What happened?"

"Keisha was murdered last night."

"Oh Marie. I'm so sorry."

Keisha was one of her friends in the district. They were very close.

"She died just like my mother had."

"Wow."

She looked like she hadn't slept and her already pale skin had become paler.

"You look like you haven't slept," I observed.

"Well. I haven't. I've been too depressed to."

My sweet quiet charming French sister had changed. She didn't have any light in her.


	17. Amber

Again, I know the glee club and Ashley's family hasn't yet met but this chapter is necessary for the story because It shows that some of the characters have met before glee.

* * *

_**Amber**_

_It was about a month ago, a Saturday. The irony of that day was that it was beautiful. Sunny. Ruby, Mom, Dad and I were in the living room when a knock came on the tall thick wooden front door._

_"I'll get it," Mom said, standing._

_She walked over to the door and opened it._

_"Hi Mrs. Riley," I heard Ashley say._

_"Hi Ashley, come in," my mom greeted her warmly._

_"Thank you."_

_"Have a seat."_

_Mom led Ashley, her sister Marie and a young woman with red hair over to the couch, where they sat._

_"Can I get you ladies anything?" Mom asked._

_"No that won't be neccessary," the redhead said._

_"Oh. Ok."_

_Mom sat back down._

_"I'm Cassie, Marie's boss," the redhead informed us._

_We exchanged introductions._

_"We have some bad news," Ashley said._

_"What is it?" Dad asked._

_"Um your daughter Keisha was...she was with a client last night and, along with..."_

_Beside me Ruby was silent._

_"I...she...what?" Mom asked._

_"She's dead Mrs. Riley. I'm sorry," Cassie said._

_"Here."_

_Ashley pushed a box of tissues toward Mom._

_"You're sorry?" I exploded; "that won't bring her back."_

_"Amber, calm down," Dad said._

_"How do you expect me to calm down? My sister's dead."_

_"Our, sister," Ruby corrected._

_"This isn't the time for formalities," I said._

_"You're right, it won't," Ashley said._

_Marie and Cassie had left._

_"Our sister, is. and he. _he_!" I said._

_"Amber," Dad said._

_"Greg maybe it's good for her to explode," Mom told him._

-XXXX-

_After they told us about Keisha, mom and dad went elsewhere in the house leaving James and I in the white living room. He was 20 in his 2nd year of college. Ruby and I were the same age, 17. Keisha had been 14._

_"Wow," he said._

_"Yeah I know," I said._

_"Who'd want to kill her?"_

_"Well it is a dangerous job."_

_"Her, um…."_

_I could tell he wanted to be polite, discreet about our sister's job._

_"being a lady of the night, yes. Yes it is." I agreed._

_"Well that most certainly doesn't give anyone the right to murder her!"_

_"What are you saying she asked to be murdered?"_

_"No one asks to be murdered amber," James told me._

_"Oh. No she didn't ask to be murdered just to be fuked."_

_"Amber!" James said in surprised._

_"Well that's what it is isn't it! She's getting paid to be fuked. Was, rather."_

_"shit wow i….yeah guess I knew that. I just. Wow."_

_"Didn't want to admit it? Look it's not all wine and roses you know that just as well as I do."_

_"Wine that sounds good," James said, standing._

_I looked up at him: "where you goin?"_

_"Bar."_

_"But you're 20."_

_"Yeah but I don't look it babe."_

_It was true. He looked 21, 22 at the most._

_"ya wanna come with? Bet I could score ya free drinks. Just be sexy as hell."_

_"Oh yeah that's not a problem for me only for santanna….wow," I said dryly, sarcastically._

_"C'mon you're pretty."_

_"Pretty isn't the same as sexy."_

_"Yeah but I've never seen an ugly chick be sexy. We can get you all dolled up."_

_"We'll have to have a funeral."_

_"What?" James asked._

_"We'll have, to have, a funeral and invite the whole club."_

_"Yeah but don't worry about that well worry about it when we come to it. You need a night out just as badly as I do. Now cmon girl."_

_At this I smiled: "ok."_

_"Hey gotcha to crack a smile that's something."_


	18. Chapter 20

**Karen**

Pam and I were sitting in the living room that night.

"hey ive been meaning to ask but never got a chance to," she began.

"yeah?" I said.

"hows your family?"

"um my stepdad's dead and I havent seen Andrew for years. But the rest of us get together every year for thanksgiving and Christmas. And then we go to sara's."

Andrew was my brother my younger brother. Hed hurt me a lot back in elementary school. Sara was jesse's mom. His dad had died when he was in college.


	19. didn

_**Dianna**_

_"We didn't win," I said._

_"Yeah. No kidding," Amber said._

_"Well. At least we still have the club," Rachel said._

_"Yeah," Tina said._

_"Well for one thing Dianna went into labor," Brittany said._

_"As though that's her fault," Mike said._

_"I didn't say it was."_

_"All she's saying is that because she wasn't there the club wasn't as strong," Puck said._

_"Oh."_

_"We have to work even harder next year," Cory said._

_"Yeah," Chris agreed._

_We were at village inn that night. It was the night we'd lost Regionals. Amber, Brittany and Santanna hadn't ordered anything._

_I looked at the empty spot in front of amber._

_'what?' she mouthed._

_"Cheerleading's ended so why….?" I asked._

_I was asking cheerleading had ended why was she still trying to lose weight. I was confused._

_"Actually no it hasn't," Brittany said: "we have Regionals coming up."_

_"Oh."_

_"Excuse me," Santanna said._

_I stood and let her by. I noticed I could see her collarbone. She'd grown thinner._

_She left. I sat back down._

_"Wow," Rachel said, also noticing._

_"Chick's gettin thin," Tina said._

_"Yeah yeah she has," Mike said._

_"You want some of my waffle?" I heard Puck ask Amber._

_She shook her head: "no. I'm not hungry."_

_"Yes you are. You're starving."_

_"Oh? How would you know?"_

_"One of my sisters died from an eating disorder."_

_"Oh. I had no idea."_

_"Yeah most don't."_

_"You need to eat you know you do," Cory said_

_"Yeah you're right. I don't want to. I…I can't let myself."_

_"Why?"_

_"That's how Karen Carpenter died," Chris said._

_"Yeah I know," I said._

_"Amber. I don't want the same thing happening to you. Or any of my friends. I care about you. A lot," Puck told her._

_At this, she teared up._

_"I'm sorry," she apologized._

_"Hey it happens."_

_I stood._

_" ' scuse me," I said._

_I left the table and went into the bathroom._

_In the bathroom I heard retching._

_"Dianna?" Santanna asked: "that you?"_

_"Yeah you ok?"_

_"I'm sick."_

_"Well you haven't exactly been eating, so."_


	20. Chapter 22

**Karen**

It was several weeks later. Pam and I were lying in my room in my big white bed in my big bedroom. It was night.

"I don't know what to do Karen," she told me, "she barely sleeps, she barely eats. She doesn't _go_ anywhere. She just sits around. She cries. Or randomly leaves."

She was talking about my 14 year old daughter Marie who'd been living at her place ever since Jesse had caught Marie downtown in what's known as 'the meat district'.

"How long's she been like this?" I asked.

"For the last few weeks. Since Jesse caught her."

"Oh."

"Normally I wouldn't do this but I'll see if she'll let me talk to her. And Jesse," I said, pushing the covers off me and getting out of bed.

"Ok."

I had a strict rule not to take on any of my daughters as clients.

I got up out of bed and walked down the hall into Jesse's room. He was sitting at his desk, drawing.

"Hey," he said, looking up w hen I came in.

I sat on the edge of his bed.

"Hi. I need to talk to you," I told him.

"Did Kate awaken yet?" he asked.

She'd been in a coma the past few days.

"No. It's not about that."

Jesse put down his pencil.

"Oh?" he asked, turning and looking at me.

"It's about Marie. I think she's depressed. Pam and I were just talking about her...she doesn't eat doesn't sleep. Doesn't go anywhere. She cries. And randomly leaves. I don't know where she goes."

"Oh. Wow. How long's she been like this?"

"Since the night you found her."

"Oh. The night Evan..."

I nodded.

"I don't think it's about that though. I think it might be more. You know, normally I wouldn't do this but I'm going to try and take her on."

"Ok."

-XXXX-

"Did you know that Bobby's gay?" I asked Pamela.

We were lying in my bed that night, dressed in our nightgowns, under the covers. Jesse was somewhere drawing and everyone else was asleep. Ashley and Marie were at Pam's.

"Really?" she asked.

"Yeah, he told me at the reunion."

"Is that why he was so mean?"

"Yeah. He said he was really confused."

"Oh. Wow. How long has he known?" she asked.

"All his life."

"How'd his parents take it?"

"They. Died in a car accident when he was in high school," I told her.

"Wow."

"Yeah he's got 4 kids, works at a bookstore."

"Oh. And apparently Amanda teaches pole dancing."

"Yeah the things that happen when you don't talk to someone for a few years," I mused.

Pam and I were referring to our friend Amanda who we knew from school. Wed run into her at the reunion a few weeks back.

"How's Marie?" Pam asked.

"She still won't talk. She just sits there in black the entire hour. She's always in black. and-"

"Her hair's always down. Yeah nothing's changed much at my place either."

When Marie had been working downtown in the district she always wore her curly black hair up.

"I'm still trying to understand why she'd prostitute herself, though. I mean, other than the fact that she's French."

"Well. maybe she wants you to pay attention to her," Pamela said quietly.

"Pamela," I said, surprised and a bit angry.

"What? I'm just sayin Karen. You certainly seem to be paying plenty of attention to Kate."

"Well _she's_ sick."

"Yeah, and what if Marie was sick? Or Rose? Or Lily?"

"You sound just like Ashley."

"She's right, you know."


	21. Chapter 39

_It was the middle of the night. I woke up to the sound of my sister coughing. I opened my eyes and saw her bent over on her bed vomiting up blood. Blood was running down her face._

_"Omygod," I whispered, horrified._

_I had never seen Kate this sick._

_Within mere seconds Tom, Evan and Dad were in our room. I went down the hall and woke Mom up. My 16 year old sister Alexa asked Mom if she should tell Pamela where we were going. Mom said we'd call when we got there. In the van on the way over, which Evan drove, Mom mentioned Kate would need platelets and probably a cell count, given she'd lost quite a bit of blood. I knew this meant I'd have to give her a transfusion once we got to the ER._


	22. Jesse: Can

_It was dinner time. Other than Marie and Kate, everyone else was downstairs in the dining room. I went upstairs to Amanda and Louisa's room to tell Amanda that dinner was ready. When I got t here she was lying on her bed with her legs bent._

_"Amanda," I said: "what's wrong?"_

_"Dad."_

_"Yeah honey?"_

_"I can't breathe. Very well."_

_Unlike some of my other daughters, anxiety attacks weren't common for Amanda to have. I'd seen the same thing from Karen when we were in high school._

_"Amanda," I told my daughter, sitting on Louisa's bed._

_"Jesse!" Karen called from downstairs._

_"Hold on!" I called back, turning towards the hallway._

_I turned back to my daughter._

_"Amanda," I repeated._

_She turned her blonde head and looked at me._

_"You're having heart palpitations."_

_"But my heart rate's the same!"_

_"I _know, _it doesn't make sense. That's why you can't breathe very well."_

_"Oh."_

_"When was the last time you ate something?"_

_She said nothing._

_"Amanda. When?"_

_"Awhile ago."_

_"Awhile ago, what does that mean? 3 days ago, yesterday, today?"_

_She inhaled, her small chest rising and falling._

_"Yesterday?" I asked._

_She nodded._

_I sighed._

_"Amanda, what the hell? Just when yesterday exactly? You need to eat something."_

_"You can't make me eat."_

_"I'm not going to let you do this to yourself."_

_Back in high school I'd said the same thing to Karen. I wasn't going to let my daughter starve._

_"I have permission?" my daughter asked._

_"What?"_

_"You just said...you weren't going to let me..."_

_As though she had a choice._

"Kate _gets to be sick. That's not fair."_

_I stopped myself before I ended up sounding like my own father._

_"Oh honey is that what this is about?"_

_"Well. Partially."_

_"Amanda. Kate doesn't have a choice. She never has."_

_She looked up at me, her blue eyes full of fear: "I don't either Dad."_

_I stood up._

_"We're having pasta for dinner. Do you want any?"_

_"I can't eat that much."_

_"I'll save some for you, in the fridge."_

_She nodded._

_I walked downstairs and into the dining room._

_"What was that about?" Karen asked, as I slid into my spot. She was looking at me and lifting a forkful of pasta to her mouth._

_"Amanda. Says she's not hungry."_

_"Oh."_


	23. Chapter 30

**Friday**

It was later the next day. I was in my bedroom, in my bed. Mom was at work, Dad was off somewhere, everyone else was in school.

"Knock knock," a male voice said.

A fist rapped on the doorframe of my room.

I looked up from my reading and saw my older brother Evan and older sister Amanda standing in the doorway. He was wearing black. She was dressed very classy, in black pants, heels and a beautiful bright red silk blouse which set off her fluffy blonde hair. She was always dressed very well. I smiled when I saw them.

"Hey!" I said.

"Hi," Amanda said.

"Come in."

I set the book on the nightstand to my left.

They came in and sat on the edge of my bed.

"How are you?" Amanda asked.

"Ok...well, as ok as can be expected given that I'm sick. I'm just really tired."

"Right," Amanda said, smiling.

"I was in a coma last week don't know if you heard. Drug induced."

"Yeah. We heard," Evan said.

"Yeah, but enough about me. God I'm so through talking about me. How are you guys?"

"Ok. We don't do much," Evan replied.

"I'm gonna go downstairs. You want the door closed?" Amanda asked me, getting up.

I nodded.

She walked to the door.

"Ok. It was nice seeing you Amanda," I said.

"Yeah, you too," she said quietly.

She left, closing the door behind her.

"She seems. Quiet," I observed.

"Well she laid some pretty heavy stuff on me the other night," Evan told me.

"Oh."

"So really Katie. How are you?" Evan asked.

I smiled; "Anna called me that last night."

"Ohhh. How's Anna? Or you?"

I put my head back and loked at the ceiling.

"God do we always have to talk about me? Everyone's always talking about me! I'm sick, how the fuk do you think I feel? I mean...isn't it terribly obvious?" I asked Evan, looking at him, tears gleaming in my blue eyes.

"I'm sorry. But I care."

"I know you do. Well...at least with being in the coma I wasn't constantly interrupting Mom, who could actually get some sleep. She focuses so much attention on me. It's really not fair to the others. I wish my disease wasn't killing me. But it is. And I'm going to have to face that sooner or later...even though I do every damn day. Every time I bleed...every time Mom finds more bruises...all the. Constant reminders. Even when I was in remission..."

Evan waited patiently.

"...I knew I'd get sick again. Tom's the only one who really understands what I've been through."

"Because he went through it himself."

"Yeah. Exactly. And it's not fair to Anna either, every time I have to get more bone marrow from her...or she has to have her blood taken. She's only 10 she's not old enough to know what she wants."

"Mmmhmm," Evan said.

"All Mom tells her is that we're going to the hospital to help me...not whats' really going on. My god tell her the truth!"

"Kate," Evan said quietly, looking into my eyes with his brown ones, "she's 10."

"Yeah but it's not fair. None of this, is fair. It's not fair that I ruined your concert ...which, by the way, I'm sorry for."

"Well. It wasn't my concert but thanks."

"I hate that I'm sick...maybe if I wasn't none of this would have ever happened."

Evan stood up; "they're doing all they fuking can Kate!" he told me; "what do you want them to do, kill you?"

I looked up at him; "yeah. Maybe."

Evan sat back down weightily.

"My god. Why? You're so beautiful. And sweet. And creative."

"I am not beautiful. Don't you ever tell me that I'm beautiful."

"Kate."

"No, Evan. I'm sorry. I don't see it."

There was a pause.

"I've been setting fires," Evan informed me.

I already knew this though.

"I want to kill your disease."

"You want to burn me?" I asked.

"No. I want your cancer to die."

"Oh."

"You know how fire destroys everything? Destroys someone else's beauty?"

I nodded; "yeah."

"I want the same thing to happen to your illness."

"Wow."

A pause.

"So what woke Anna up?" Evan asked.

"My coughing up blood. She asked me if I needed to go to the hospital. I told her I didn't. She said she was scared. That I would die soon."

"Awww. She's so sweet," Evan said, smiling.

"I know. She's a gem."

A knockcame on the door. Evan turned and looked at the door.

"Yeah?" he asked.

"Evan. I need to talk to Kate," Anna's voice said.

"Ok."

Evan stood up and crossed the room where he opened the door for Anna. He left and she came in. She came over to my bed.

"Katie. Look," she said.

She pointed to a line of light blue bruises on her arm.

"We match. I have colors just like you."

I was horrifed.

"What?" she asked, fear shining in her big brown eyes.

She knew something was wrong.


	24. Chapter 45

**Puck**

We were still living in New York at the time.

_I'd gotten home from school and was walking down the hall of our apartment building. Inside, I heard Ginger, Jasmine and Fiona arguing._

_"Well I'm sick," Ginger pointed out._

_"Yeah and so'm I," Jasmine said._

_"You're always sick. Always."_

_"Well do _you_ want cancer? It sucks."_

_"Yes Jasmine I know. We all know."_

_"This is fukin ridiclous. We only have 1 bathroom," Fiona pointed out._

_"For the 9 of us?" Ella asked._

_"Yeah. We should move."_

_"Yes we should."_

_"Well Puck'll be home soon. God knows Mom's never around and Dad's..." Cecilia began._

_"At the bar as usual," Fiona said._

_"Long as he's not here."_

_At which point I unlocked and opened the door. My sisters paused their arguing and looked my way._

_"Hey Puck," Ginger said._

_"I'm sick," Jasmine said._

_"Me too."_

_I closed the door behind me; "yeah I know. Hey yall. What seems to be the problem?"_

_I went over to the fridge, opening it to see what groceries we had, which wasn't very much._

_"Damn," I muttered._

_"My platelets are low," Jasmine informed me._

_Which meant she'd need another transfusion. I didn't know whose turn it was to give her one._

_"Ok."_

_I stood, looked at Ginger: "Ginger?"_

_"I'm nausaous," she replied._

_"And so'm I!" Jasmine said._

_"Ok um...will you be ok on the couch?" I asked Ginger._

_"Like, really nausaous."_

_Oh. Which meant she'd need to be in the bathroom._

_"Oh."_

_"I need a cigerette," Ariana said._

_"Um..." I repeated._

_There wasn't any way both my sisters could use the bathroom at once. I considered going to the neighbor's and asking her if we could use theirs._

_Fiona sat on the couch._

_I looked at her; "you alrite?"_

_"Cramps," she answered._

_"Oh."_

_I looked around, not seeing Ella._

_"And Ella's...?" I asked._

_"Bedroom."_

_"Oh."_

_"I'll go," Cecilia informed me._

_I looked at her: "huh?"_

_"Neighbor's."_

_"Oh. Ok."_

_She left._

_"Ariana, I actually need to go grocery shopping," I told her knowing this meant we could go outside and smoke._

_"Sure ok," she replied._

_"Yes I'll stay here," Fiona said, sighing._

_"Thanks honey."_

_Ariana and I left._

-XXXX-

_I was on the couch trying to sleep when I was awakened by a scream. I woke up and sat up, looked towards the small bathroom where the scream had come from. The bathroom door was open and the light was on. Fiona was standing there her back turned to me, in her long white nightgown._

_I got up and went and stood outside the bathroom._

_"Hey gorgeous," I said._

_She sighed, her shoulders rising._

_"I'm not gorgeous I'm ugly."_

_"I get that. But it's only because you keep burning yourself."_

_She turned around, her eyes blazing; "oh so are you saying it makes me ugly?"_

_"No. It's why you think you are. You're beautiful."_

_"Oh. But I burn myself because..."_

_"...you think you're ugly. which, in turn. Yeah I know. Do you want some tea?" I asked._

_"Ok."_

_It was a vicious cycle we both knew that._

_She walked out of the bathroom while I turned out the light, knowing the dark would calm her since she couldn't see all that well in it. Back in the living room I made out Cecilia's figure on the couch. She stood when we entered. Fiona went and sat._

_"Another one of those nights?" Cecila asked, looking at me._

_"Yeah another one of those nights," I replied._

_"Why don't you sit down and I'll make the tea."_

_"Ok."_

_I sat down on the couch next to Fiona._

_"I can still feel them, the burns. And I remember what they look like," she said._

_"I know," I said, taking her hands in mine; "I know."_


	25. Chapter 32

Anna left the room.

I heard noises downstairs and got out of my bed. I walked down the hall, the stairs and into the kitchen.

Evan and I stood in the doorway watching our sister. She was going through all the cabinets and the fridge, pulling down everything that had my name written on it. It crashed onto the floor, some of the liquids spilling onto the tile floor.

Evan and I watched, horrified.

Amanda picked up the long silver scissors. In her hand she already had a long chef's knife.

"Amanda!" Evan and I yelled.

She attamped to pierce the bottle of Canada Dry with the scissors without much success. She turned and looked at us.

"Kate. You think you're so fukin special just because you have cancer. You get so much attention," she said angrily.

"Amanda. What the hell is wrong with you?" Evan yelled, taking a step forward.

"I hate my disease!" I yelled, also stepping forwatd.

"Oh, do you now? It seems you like the attention."

"You have no idea what it's like to hate your disease this much! I hate knowing that at any given moment I could start bleeding again. That I could get sick. Mydisease is slowly fukin killing me! I've lost 20 pounds Amanda!" I yelled.

"I envy that," she said softly.

"Wha what?" I sputtered, taken aback by her comment; "you envy my cancer?"

"Oh don't be absurd Kate. No. I envy the fantastically quick weight loss."

"Oh my god."

It then hit me that she had an eating issue.

"Oh, really? Have you seen me lately Kate?" Amanda asked.

And for the first time in a really long time, I saw her. I really looked at her. At hotw thin and fragile she looked.

She dropped the knife and the scissors onto the floor.

I stepped towards her and wrapped her in my arms, bones and all. I stroked her long blonde hair. I once had hair like this.

"You...you stilll love me?" Amanda asked.

"Amanda. Of course I do. Your weight has nothing to do with it. Love isn't based on numbers. You're beautiful."

"I'm not."

"Yes, you are," Evan said quietly.

"I know exactly how you feel," I told Amanda


	26. Chapter 34

Mandy

After my incident in the kitchen I got a text from the unknown number;

so you had an incident in the kitchen. i knew you would i knew you couldn't handle yourself couldn't be in control for much longer. once again kate gets all the attention and you don't like it. so what are you going to do now? if I were you id terrify her. but youre too nice for that. oh. and well you love her too much. you would never. xoxo

Whoever it was had seen me in the kitchen that day.


	27. dove flame reflection

_"It hurts," Kate said._

_"I know Katie. I know," Louisa said._

_I went downstairs, passing Mom on the wide white curving carpeted stairs. Ashley followed her._

_On my way to the kitchen I passed Mandy lying on the couch._

_"You alrite?" I asked stopping._

_"Um. Yeah, just a bit dizzy."_

_"You want some water?"_

_She nodded._

_In the kitchen, Dad was done talking on the phone. The round kitchen clock ticked on the wall above us, whiling away the time. I went to the fridge and opened it._

_"Evan," Dad said._

_I paused and looked at him, my hand on the rim of the fridge door._

_"Everything ok?"_

_"Yeah." _

_At that moment Ashley breezed into the room._

_"Where the hell's Marie?" she demanded._

_"I don't know Ashley I just got home a few minutes ago," I told her._

_"Oh. I was hoping you'd have seen her while you were out."_


	28. Chapter 55

_It was later that night and Dad, my siblings, with the exception of Anna, Kate and Marie, and I were all in the livng room, sitting on the white sofas._

_"Guys," Dad said._

_We looked at him expectently._

_"We have more information about Mom," Evan said._

_"Oh?" I asked, looking at him._

_"Yeah apparently, she had head trauma when the car crashed."_

_"Omygod," Louisa whispered._

_"Yeah. She lost quite a bit of blood. They took some of mine the night I was called," Dad told us._

_"Wow," Lily said._

_'Yeah. Dad and I've been helping with that," Evan said._

_"So has Pam," Dad said._

_"What about the driver who hit her?" Alexa asked._

_"We'll be seeing each other in court. The case isnt for a few weeks though."_

_"Oh."_


	29. Chapter 101111111122222222222

_Dianna_

_Cory and I were sitting on the grass to the side of his car that day. It was sunny and warm._

"_um. I have something to tell you," I began._

"_yes go ahead," he told me._

"_I. uh. The babys not yours."_

"_what?"_

_He was shocked._

"_the baby it.s not. Yours," I repeated slowly._

"_no I know what you said im just in disbelief. Then whose is it?"_

"_its. Pucks actually."_

"_oh," cory stood, "of course it is."_

"_I have to go find puck. You. I cant let you stay with me anymore."_

"_what?"_

_Now I was the one in disbelief._


	30. Chapter 54

**1 p.m.**

* * *

**Evan**

After Marie and I'd talked yesterday id gone back to my place and shed gone somewhere downtown. This was lat week. Last Friday Amanda and Kate had had a fight. Amanda had been at my place since last week.

It was the next day. I was downtown, in my black jeep in a line of cars. I was in the 'meat district'.

A young woman my age walked towards the jeep.

"Hey there," she said.

"I'm really not-"

"You the one who been settin all the fires recently?"

This caught my attention.

She cracked her pink gum.

I wondered how she knew this.

I turned my head to my right and saw a full figured woman dressed in a red tank top under a black leather jacket. Her miniskirt was also black leather. Her face was small and looked too soft for this district. Her eyes were ringed in heavy black make up. She had long dark brown hair, the kind that looks red when the sunlight hits it.

"Need a ride?" I asked her, intrigued by her question.

She opened the door of my jeep and climbed in.

"How much you charge? And where you wanna go?" I asked her.

Her being in the 'meat district' indicated she was a lady of the night in the words of Marie. Which was why I asked how much she charged.

"$500. And I didn't really have a plan."

I whistled under my breah.

"Relax. I'm kidding. I just wanted to gauge your reaction."

"Oh."

She threw off her jacket and threw it in the back. I glanced down and noticed track marks on her arms. She smelled like expensive perfume.

"How'd you know about the fires?" I asked this random woman as I drove forwards.

"I've seen you around."

"You're following me?" I asked.

"No I'm just a wanderer."

"Oh."

"You're not fit for this line of work," I stated.

She looked at me.

"Yeah how'd you know?"

"Your face is a dead giveaway sweethart. The softness of it."

"Oh."

"Yeah. I'm Evan, by the way," I informed her.

"Ginger."

"Ooh that's foxy. Damn no wonder you're hot."

She smiled.

"Acutally...my real name's Rebecca. The girls down here call me Ginger. We all have our tactics. Keisha's was that southern accent she could turn on or off...Marie's was her charming French accent. God I miss the girl. Lola. Well. She was exotic. They hired me a few weeks back."

"Whoa, hold up. You know Marie?" I asked.

"Yeah. You know her?"

"Yeah she's my sister."

"Hey mister. She's my sister."

"What?"

"It's from RENT. The show?"

"Oh. Right."

"Marie quit work when I came. So we only met briefly but she was a sweetie."

"I know. She's changed."

* * *

-XXX-

We'd arrived at a big green park. We got out of the jeep and walked into the grass. Rebecca was barefoot. She'd taken her boots off in my jeep. Shed also changed into a long long sleeve v neck white dress. Her pale feet were small and narrow.

"So," she asked me.

"Yes?"

"What are you doing downtown?"

"I like to drive here. It gives me a chance to clear my head."

"Mmm I understand. There's another reason though."

"Yeah. There's a lot going on downtown. It's confusing."

"Ah so that's it. You like the confusion."

We settled down into the grass.

"Well. I don't _like_ it."

"But it mirrors something."

"How the hell do you do that? You're like Mandy!" I asked.

"Mandy?"

"My sister. We're very close."

"Oh."

"Is that your natural hair?"

She nodded.

"It's beautiful."

I reached over and tucked a strand of her soft hair behind her ear. She smiled and looked down.

"So what happened?" Rebecca asked softly, her attention entirely focused on me.

"Wow," I said.

"Yes?"

"Usually _I'm_ the one rescuing people."

"Oh. Well I'm all eyes love. And ears."

"Like a packet of needles. And a cornfield."

"Hmm?"

"Bad joke."

"No. It was cute," Rebecca smiled.

"Well. Mandy doesn't eat...my other sister Kate has cancer so Mom centers her whole life around Kate, which Mandy doesn't like. My younger sister Anna's a donor for Kate. Once upon a time my dad was a cop and it was just Mandy, Kate, Anna, Mandy's twin Louisa and me."

"Mmm I wouldn't either. How long has she not eaten for?"

"Mandy?"

"Yeah. Who'dya think I meant?"

"Well usually people ask about Kate."

"Oh."

"Mandy's not been eating since last year."

"Mmm."

"Kate was diagnosed with leukemia when she was 2."

And I launched into everything.

She listened quietly and carefully never interrupting. She was so calm and content, to listen. she was patient.


	31. Chapter 56

"Why'd you decide to pick me up?" Rebecca asked.

"Your question, about the fire."

"Oh."

"Wh'yd you gauge my reaction?" I shot back.

"Cuz some guys aren't honest. They just want the sex."

"I thought that was the point."

"Yes, but as you pointed out my face was a dead giveaway."

"Oh. Where you from?" I asked.

"Oh, all over really. And you?"

"From here."

"Oh. You know, I think I've seen your sisters. Didn't they sing at the park that day?"

"You were _there_, too? Jeez Rebecca."

"I'm just where people don't expect me to be. And yes. I was there. Mandys got one hell, of a voice. Actually, so do the others."

We were lying in the grass her head on my chestme playing with her long hair.

"So why do you do it?" she asked softly.

"What?"

"Set fires."

"Oh. Well. They're beautiful."

"Is that what attracted you to me?"

"In case you haven't noticed Rebecca, you're gorgeous. And yes."

"It's the hair."

"Yep"

"But they're also deadly," Rebecca commented, about fires.

"Yeah."

"So'r diseases."

* * *

-XXX-

I'd just met Rebecca. We were sitting and talking in the park.

"Like leukemia. You want to kill the cancer," she told me quietly.

I nodded, swallowing.

"Yeah. Exactly."

I inhaled shakily.

"Hey. It's ok. Y'know?" Rebecca said, peering into my eyes.

"I. I guess I know."

"But see, that's just it. Is that you don't. You never know if or when Kate's going to be sick. When you have to interrupt your day because Amanda's passed out and you have to bring her home."

"Wow."

I studied her arms which had track marks and cuts on them.

"Is that why you asked about my hair. Because of Kate," Rebecca realised.

I nodded, again.

"Yeah. I notice hair more, I guess."

"Right. Well. I don't shave. Don't like it," she admitted.

"Don't," I said.

"Because of Kate."

"Yeah. It's...too creepy."

Kate was bald and I hated being reminded of that.

"Wow," Rebecca said, after awhile.

She was gazing into my eyes.

"Hmm?"

"Your eyes are so pale I could get lost in them."

They'd changed to a pale silver.

I smiled; "so I've heard. My dad's are the same."

"They're like...this...weird silver liquid. Like unicorn's blood."

"You know what unicorn's blood is?"

"Ever seen Harry Potter?"

"Oh."

"That, and I love unicorns," Rebecca continued; "they're so beautiful. It's been said," she shifted so that she was lying on her stomach, her arms bent, her forearms in the grass; "that their horn has the power to heal."

"Wow."

"They're so pure."

"I know, that's why I love them. It's as though...whatever happens to them nothing can touch them. I mean. Their soul," she said.

It was a kind of magic everyone wanted.

"If only we could do that for Kate," I said.

Rebecca said nothing. My eyes flicked down to her track marks, studying them.

"Hey," I said.

"Hmmm?" she asked, blinking her curled eyelashes at me.

"What happened to your arms?"


	32. Chapter 62

**Kate**

It was dinner time and, with the exception of Evan, Amanda, Alexa, Pamela, Tom and Marie, we were all sitting around the mahogany table in the dining room. Ashley, Mom and Dad were questioning Rose on her newest clothes, shoes and jewelry.

Mom asked Rose where she got the silver ballet flats, blue velvet dress and pearl earrings she was wearing.

"Oh, a friend gave them to me," Rose replied casually.

She twirled pasta around her fork and put it in her mouth so she wouldn't have to say anything more.

"Oh, really?" Ashley asked.

Rose nodded.

"Yeah. Lucy has this big closet full of things she never wears," Lily explained.

I knew that Lucy, a young woman at their school, was someone they knew but barely spoke to.

"That doesn't explain the jewelry though," Dad said.

I could tell, as casual as my sister appeared, she was hoping no one would question her further about her many excursions to Macy's.

I knew that was my cue.

Because of my leukemia I could get sick any time any where, which was why I spent most of my time either at home or hospitalised.

Rose looked at me.

I had my hand over my mouth, blood running out between my fingers.

"Omygod," Anna whispered.

Mom and Dad looked at me.

"Kate? You ok honey?" Mom asked.

I quickly stood up, pushing my chair out behind me. I ran out of the kitchen, up the stairs and into the bathroom.

* * *

-XXX-

I was sitting at the dinner table with my family, wearing the peridot earrings my sister Rose had given me for my 13th birthday. They had small ruby circles in them.

"I like your earrings Kate," Ashley told me.

"Thank you."

"Where'd you get them?"

"Rose gave them to me for my 13th," I said.

"And she got them?" Mom asked.

"Oh, from Lucy," my sister replied casually.

"Oh, really?"

Nauseau crept into my chest. I put my fork on my plate. My parents, Rose and Ashley looked at me.

"Kate?" Dad asked.

I left the room with Rose following.


	33. Chapter 59

Rose

After I'd gone to the mall I'd come home.

* * *

Evan, Lily, Louisa, Ashley, Kate, Anna, Mom, Dad and myself were sitting in the dining room around the mahagony table on which dinner was set. Pamela and Marie were at Pamela's. Tom and Alexa were at Tom's.

"Those are beautiful earrings, Rose," Mom said, looking at me.

"Thank you," I replied, in my soft English accent.

"And such a pretty dress too," Dad said.

I was wearing a long sleeve dark blue velvet dress. My earings were dangly pearls.

"Thank you."

"Your shoes are pretty," Ashley said, commenting on my silver ballet flats.

"Where'd you get them?" Mom asked.

She'd said 'get'; not 'buy'.

"Oh, a friend gave them to me," I replied casually, twirling pasta around my fork in order not to talk.

"Oh, really?" Ashley asked.

I nodded, my mouth full.

"Yeah. Lucy has this big closet full of things she never wears, so she gave some of them to Rose," Lily explained, adding to my story.

"That doesn't explain the jewelry though," Dad said.

Across the table from me, Kate paled and put her hand over her mmouth. Blood was running through her fingers.

Mom and Dad looked at her.

"Kate? You ok honey?" Mom asked.

Kate stood up, pushing her chair back and rushed out of the room.

Mom and Dad started to stand as well.

"I'll get her," I said, standing.

I was glad for an excuse to get out of the kitchen.

-XXX-

I went up the stairs and down the hall where I knocked on the bathroom door.

"Yeah?" Kate managed, in between vomiting.

"Hey it's me," I replied.

"It's open."

I opened the door and came in, closing it behind me.

"How ya doin?" I asked Kate, who was sitting on the floor against the tub.

"Alrite. A little sick but it's not bad."

"Thanks for saving me down there," I told her.

She smiled; "No problem Rose. I knew you'd do the same for me if the situation were reversed."

A knock came on the door.

"Yeah?" I asked.

"It's me," came Lily's voice.

I turned around and opened the door for Lily, who came in and closed it behind her. We sat against the door.

"They still down there?" Kate asked.

Lily nodded; "yeah, still haven't finished dinner. They're talking about you."

Kate looked up at the white ceiling; "oh big surprise there Lily."

Lily and I looked at each other.

"Wow that was close," I said.

"Yeah I know," she returned.

"You 2 barely talk to Lucy," Kate commented, about a friend of ours in school.

I looked at her; "yeah but Mom's so busy centering her life around you..."

She wouldn't notice.

Kate nodded; "right."


	34. Chapter 63

It was 5, dinner time and the sun was just starting to set. We were sitting in the dining room at the table, with the exception of Rebecca and Tom. Mandy, of course, wasn't eating.

"You're not eating," Mom pointed out.

Well. Obviously.

"Yeah, I'm just not very hungry," Mandy replied.

"You haven't been hungry lately. What, the beans are'nt good?"

"No, the beans are very good," Anna said, trying to prevent the argument.

"Rose, where'd you get those earrings?" Dad asked.

"Oh, Lucy gave them to me," she replied.

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"While I was at the mall the other day I thought I saw a pair that-"

At that moment Kate put her hand over her mouth, partially as a diversion and partially because she was sick. Mom and Dad looked at her.


	35. Chapter 65

I'd left dinner early because again, I was sick. Mom, Dad and Ashley were questioning Rose about her newest jewelry, clothes and shoes. As a distraction I got sick. I immediatly took off, with Rose following. This happened at 5. I'd been in the bathroom, nauseous, bleeding and generally sick since. It was now 7. Light footsteps came down the hall and a knock came on the door.

"Anna?" I asked, hoping it was.

"No, it's Ashley," my 17 year old sister replied.

"Oh."

"Kate you alrite in there?"

I thought this a fairly obvious question given I was sick.

"I'm sick," I stated.

"Are you bleeding?"

"Yeah."

"Ok I'll get you some ginger ale."

"Anna?"

"No, I already told you-oh, you want me to get Anna?"

"Mmmhmm."

"Ok honey."

I heard Ashley walk down the hall in the direction of the room Anna and I shared.

"Kate?" Anna asked.

"Come in."

My 10 year old sister opened the door and came in, closing the door behind her.

"Hey," she said.

"Hi. I-" I vomited into the toilet - "need to go to the hospital. I need more platelets."

Anna nodded: "Ok I'll get Mom."

I nodded. She left.

What I really meant was that I needed a blood transfusion from Anna.


	36. Chapter 64

Rose

After dinner I got a text from an unknown number. It read;

next time be more careful w/ what you wear to the dinner table. xoxo


	37. Chapter 57

Evan

When I asked Rebecca about her arms shed told me it was personal. I didn't know many personal details about her though I don't think anyone did. When id asked her where she was from shed said all over. Which is entirely possible since some people move a lot. I didn't even know how long shed been prostituting. I did observe however that she was a little bit pregnant which I wondered about. Had it been her choice? That was a likely possibility since she was a prostitute.


	38. Chapter 119

_**Jesse**_

_It was night. Mark and I'd just arrived at the beach. Our college was having a beach party. The night was clear and a warm breeze blew through the air. The beach was crowded with people, women dressed in sarongs and beach pants, the men in beach pants as well. The waves crashed against the shore. Bonfires were blazing, filling the air around them with sparks. People were talking and laughing._

_"Wow. Great night huh?" Mark asked._

_"Yeah it really is," I agreed._

_"Jesse! Mark! Over here!" a female voice called._

_"Hey look there's Lacy," Mark said._

_We made our way through the crowd to our friend Lacy, who was wearing a green sarong._

_"Wow. You look great," I told her, pulling her close into a side hug._

_"Thanks. This is Raven," Lacy said, indicating the woman next to her._

_"Hi, Jesse," I said, leaning forward and shaking her pale hand, which was warm._

_"Hi, Raven," she replied._

_I pulled back, and studied her for a minute, thinking I'd seen her somewhere before. She looked a lot like Lacy, with straight black hair and blue eyes. She had a black sarong tied around her._

_"Yes?" she asked._

_"Nothing, you just...look familiar," I replied._

_"Yeah, so do you. You're Jesse Fitzgerald right?"_

_"Um. Yeah."_

_I wondered how she knew this._

_"Well, anyway," Mark said, setting himself onto the large green blanket spread on the sand._

_Lacy and I sat next to him, with Raven next to me._

_"So what do you want to drink?" Lacy asked; "we got beer, lemonade, tea."_

_Raven stared up at the dark blue velvet sky: "the moon's gorgeous."_

_I followed her gaze: "yeah. The stars led me here."_

_"What?"_

_"Oh, my father says that."_

_"I love the stars."_

_My eyes wandered over to the nearest bonfire. I stared into the orange flames, knowing this one had _not _been set intentionally._

_"You like fire," Raven observed._

_I nodded. She breathed beside me._

_"Hey. Do you know someone named Kate?"_

-XXXX-

_I was shocked she'd asked. That she even knew who Kate was. Other than that she was nice and pretty and a friend of lacys I really didn't know much about raven. _

_Kate was my sister._

_"Um….." I began._

_"ya want somethin to drink?" lacy asked peering at me._

_"Yeah I'll have a beer. You?" I asked raven._

_"Just a lemonade," she replied smiling._

_Lacy handed me a beer and raven a lemonade out of the cooler._

_"Thanks," I said._

_"Sure."_

_"Yeah that's my sister," I told raven: "why?"_

_"She have cancer?"_

_I swallowed: "um. Yeah."_

_"No reason just wondering."_

_"Ok."_

_"How do you know mark?"_

_"Roommates. How do you know lacy?"_

_"Same."_

_"Oh."_

_"Hey we're like the fab 4!" mark cried making us laugh._


	39. Chapter 66

Evan

When I got back to my place after dinner Rebecca was there. After wed met id driven her back to my place. Wed both decided it was too soon for her to meet my family. She was curled up on the couch.

I came in closing the door behind me and locking it. I was amused by her position on the couch. I smiled.

"honey you don't have to curl," I told her.

She smiled; "I know but, I like to."

"ok."

I approached the couch and sat.

"can I get your anything? Do your feet hurt?" I asked her.

"no im fine. Im not that far along yet," she replied.

"ok."'

"so how was it?"

"ok. I brought some pasta back for you. Or. Us."

"oh good. We can have another dinner later. Wanna have sex?"

"Rebecca."

"sorry," she apologized, "im not very good at this whole relationship thing. Youre my first."

"oh ok. Its not that I don't want sex."

"no I get it."

She looked around and rubbed her hands up and down her arms; "mmm brrr."

"cold?" I asked.

"well yeah. Really?"

"I know. It was kindof obvious."

I pulled her onto me.

"thank you."

"you don't have to be so polite its not like im gonna hate you if you say no or anything. I mean you can if you want to."

"oh. Im just so used to that."

"no I know."


	40. Chapter 68

**Week 2**

* * *

**Sunday**

* * *

**Kate**

It was the next day. I was the only home besides Tom. Mom was at work, my sisters were at school and Dad was somewhere. I was in the bathroom, resting my head on a pile of towels, covered by a blanket. I'd been woken up at 4 this morning by overwhelming nausea and ran to the bathroom. Tom, who also happened to be awake at the time, brought me some ginger ale. Ever since 4, I'd drifted in and out of sleep, being cold one minute and hot the next. It was awful. I'd probably lost half a pound by now. I'd gotten more bruises.

"Tom!" I called.

"Coming," he called back.

Within minutes he was in the bathroom, sitting on the edge of the tub.

"Sorry there's not much room," I apologised.

"It's a small room to begin with Kate. Whatsup?"

"I'm just. Sick. Again."

I sighed.

"And a little lonely."

"Well, I'll keep you company since I got nothin else to do."

I smiled weakly.

"Thank you."

"Sure, any time. I've battled what you're goin through."

"Ok."

Nausea crept back up my throat.

"Oh god," I said.

I quickly sat up and opened the toilet, emptying a bit of my insides.

"Omygod," I said.

"Here."

Tom wrapped a blanket around me. It was fleece.

"You know the good thing about being bald?" he asked.

"What?" I asked.

"You don't have any hair to hold back."

"That was awful."

"I know. But hey, you cracked a smile."

"I've prolly lost half a pound by now. Jeez."

"Shhhh."

I breathed.

Downstairs I heard the front door open. I heard Evan's voice, then his heavy footsteps climbing the stairs.

"Kate?" he called.

"We're in here," Tom called back.

"You ok Kate?" Evan asked when he reached us.

He crouched down the floor next to me.

"Ok, I realise what a ridiculous question that is."

"Yeah given I have-"

I leaned over the toilet again.

"I feel awful," I said when I was done.

"You look pretty awful," Evan told me.

"Wow. Thanks. You're very helpful.

"Kate."

"No, I know. Just stating the obvious."

"Anything new?" Evan asked.

"Well, I woke up at 4 this morning overcome by nausea. I've been in here ever since, drifting in and out of sleep. I'm not bleeding, though, that's good. I just have chills."

Evan put his hand on my forehead, then moved it.

"Yeah, you _are_ warm."

"It happens with cancer," Tom commented from the tub.

"Omygod I just want it to end."

Evan rubbed my back.

"I know you do Katie. I know you do."

"I think I'll get her more ginger ale," Tom said.

"Ok."

He left.

"Was anyone else here this morning?" Evan asked.

"Tom was awake."

"Ok."

"What's new with you?" I managed to ask before lurching forward for the 3rd time.

I leaned back against Evan.

"Well. I met someone."

"Oh?" I asked, lifting what used to be my eyebrows.

"Yep. In the district."

"She cute?"

"She's a knockout Kate."

"Wow."

"Yeah she's gorgeous. She said she'd like to meet you."

"Um."

I weighed my options, deciding I'd be sick either way, whether we met or not. I didn't want his new girlfriend to see me sick on our first meeting.

"She's really nice. You'll like her," Evan assured me.

"Ok."

"Hey Rebecca! Cmon up!" Evan called.

A few minutes I heard light footsteps coming into the room. From my spot on the floor I could see small pale feet. They were accompanied by the smell of lilies.

"Hi sweethart," a soft quiet voice said.

She bent down to sit on the floor next to me.

"Kate," Evan said, "this is Rebecca."

I raised my head and looked at the woman.

"Hi I'm-"

I was interrupted by nausea, once again. My head bent over the toilet my body lurching forward.

"I know. You're kate."

She was lovely.

"She looks pretty awful," the soft voice of Rebecca said to Evan, who had moved to let me lie on the floor.

"I feel pretty awful. Ugh."

"I'll be right back," Rebbecca said, standing up and leaving the room.

"She's beautiful," I told Evan, who was now sitting on the edge of the tub w here Tom had been.

"Isn't she though?"

"She's just lovely."

"She is."

"Hey um," I said seriously.

"Yeah?"

"The other day Anna showed me several light blue bruises on her arm. She said we matched."

A worried look crossed Evan's face.

"That's, not good."

"I know. I'm a little worried."

"I'll get her checked out."

"Ok."


	41. Chapter 67

**Anna**

I was changing into my pajamas that night when I noticed a line of light purple bruises on my left arm. After I changed I went down the long thin narrow carpeted hall and knocked on the tall wood door of the room Kate had been in.

"Yeah?" Evan called from inside.

"I need to talk to Kate."

He opened the door and stepped out, letting me.

I walked over to Kate who was on the bed.

"Katie, look," I said and showed her my arm, "we match."

Her blue eyes were full of fear and shock.

"What?" I asked.

I knew something was wrong.


	42. Chapter 121

**Aunt Kate**

_We were living in Rhode Island. It was dinner time. I hadn't seen Anna all day. Mom, Dad, Jesse, Anna and I were all sitting at the kitchen table._

_"Wow you smell," I told Jesse, who was sitting next to me._

_"Not all of us can get our drugs through a portacath Kate," was his reply._

_"Could we just...not?" Mom asked._

_She hated being reminded that I had cancer when she lived with that knowledge every day since I was 2._

_"Where've you been?" I asked Anna._

_"Around," she replied._

_"That's not much of an answer."_

_"We know exactly where_ you've _been," Jesse said to me._

_"Jesse!" Mom said, her voice rising, turning around and brandishing a knife._

_"Alrite don't blow a fukin gasket," he muttered, looking down at his empty plate._

_"Ex_cuse _me?" Mom asked._

_"Sara, let it go," Dad told her._

_She exhaled._

_It was then that I noticed the gold locket missing from Anna's neck._

_"Hey where's your locket?" I asked._

_"Maybe I'm just not in the mood to wear it."_

_"Speaking of things we're not in the mood to wear..." Mom said, looking pointedly at my shirt._


	43. Chapter 69

**Tom **

I wandered downstairs into the kitchen where a beautiful young woman Evan's age was sitting in an uncomfortable wooden kitchen chair at the round wooden kitchen table. She was thin, wearing a long white dress with her long red hair spilling down the back. Her hair was thin and curly.

"Hey," I greeted her, "just came to get some more ginger ale for Kate."

I went over the fridge and opened it.

"How is she?" the woman asked.

"Still the same."

"Well. She's not worse."

I took the green bottle of Canada Dry marked 'Kate' in black Sharpie out of the fridge and turned. The door closed.

"I'm Ginger by the way," the woman told me.

"Hey. Tom."

I walked over to the kitchen table and pulled out a kitchen chair.

"Mind if I sit?"

"No, not at all," she replied.

I pulled the chair back and sat in it, putting the Canada Dry on the table in front of us.

"They've got a lot to deal with," she mentioned.

"Yeah, they do. I was the only one awake when Kate woke up this morning, sick."

"Oh. Evan's told me everything. We're involved."

"As are Alexa and I. Why aren't you in school?" I asked.

"Oh, I work downtown. In the district. How old are you?"

"20. Where you from?"

"All over. How long have you and Alexa been together?"

"About a year. We met when Kate was in the hospital the same time I was. What about you and Evan?"

"Oh, we just met last night. We hit it off right away."

The lights were on in the big white living room and upstairs. Alexa had gone back to sleep on the white living room couch.

ginger looked at me.

"Tom," she said.

I looked at her; "yeah?"

"I might as well tell you now. My name's not actually Ginger. It's actually Rebecca. Ginger's just w hat they call me".

"I figured as much."

"My face? Evan said it was a dead giveaway."

"No. You're far too lovely to be a Ginger."

"Gingers aren't lovely?"

"Not the ones I've met."

"Oh."

"I should probably bring this up to Kate," I said, indicating the Canada Dry.

I stood up, pushing my chair back.

* * *

**1 p.m.**

After about an hour, Kate had fallen asleep. I'd driven to the big tall red brick high school and waited for 2 hours by the big green park across the street from the school untill lunchtime, when I went inside and picked Alexa up. We went to a Subway for lunch and then back to my place.

It was now 1 and I was waiting for my sisters to get home from school, which they would in about 2 hours. Alexa and I were sitting in the living room on the blue couch.

"How was your morning?" I asked her.

"Eh ok I guess," She answered.

"Why just ok?"

"Some guy made some crack about my cuts. Which, of course, only made me cut more."

"There are some things people just don't understand," I told her.

"Yeah. People stare at Kate all the time."

"Kate's beautiful."

"She doesn't seem to think so. In a way, she likes it better in the hospital. At least there people understand. Ya know?" Alexa asked, looking at me.

I nodded; "mmhmm."

"But she's also sweet and fun and creative," I continued; "did I tell you about her Halloween costume idea?"

Alexa nodded; "mmmhmm."

"She's a lot like Aunt Kate, according to Dad. I never met Aunt Kate," Alexa said.

"Mmmm. They share the same birthday, same name."

"Yeah but it's so much more than that."

Alexa settled back into me. I wrapped my arms around her.

"So what do you think about our costumes?" I asked.

"I like the one with the white dress," she answered.

"The 2 Fridas?"

She nodded.

"You don't look a thing like Diego," she told me.

"Well, you kinda look like Frida. You both have dark hair."

"Oh yes. I look exactly like Frida, Tom," she said sarcastically, looking up at me.

We smiled.

"Kate's going as an alien and Anna's going as a crayon," Alexa said.

"Kate shoould go as a butterfly," I said.

"She's so excited about taking Anna out. It's finally her year."

"I know. I remember my year."

When I'd turned 13 my mom had told me I was old enough to take my sisters out trick-or-treating. She was too sick too. It also seemed to be a tradition of Alexa's family and mine.

"You miss her don't you," Alexa stated quietly.

She shifted in my arms.

"Yeah baby. I do."


	44. Chapter 51

_The day Kate came into my room I was drawing a picture of my sister, her aunt. My daughter had remarked on how pretty her aunt was. I'd told her she'd never thought so. My daughter had said they had a lot in common._

_Which they did. They both had leukemia, both shared the same birthdays, same name. Loved pink._

_They were both creative, fun, sweet._

_It suddenly dawned on me that my daughter meant more than what I'd just stated. My own daughter didn't feel pretty. Beautiful even. Didn't think she was. This was partially due to her leukemia and partially due to the fact that she was 13._


	45. Chapter 78

Jesse

When I got back from dinner Rebecca was waiting for me. She stood when I came into the living room and came over to me. I closed and locker the door behind me. She was wearing a long white dress.

"hey love," she said her fingers drifting to my belt buckle.

"hey," I said, "I brought some dinner back for us."

"oh good."

I set it on the table to the right of the door and put my arms around Rebecca. We kissed.

"mmm. Couch?" she asked.

"uh huh," I said nodding.

We made our way to the sofa kissing all the way there. I moved the coffee table out of the way.

We got on the sofa and continued kissing her on top of me.


	46. Chapter 71

**Monday**

* * *

**Jesse**

It was early the next morning. I was in the kitchen, sitting on an uncomfortable wooden kitchen chair at the round wooden kitchen table drinking coffee. Karen had already left for work and Pam was at her place with Ashley and Marie. Tom and Alexa were off somewhere. Evan had gone back to his place where Amanda had been spending a lot of time. Kate had finally fallen asleep and the others were at school.

I reviewed the schedule for the week. Every day this week Ashley, Lily and Rose all had ballet, before and after school for an hour each. Anna had ice hockey practice on Tuesdays and gymnastics Thursdays. Karen'd gone to the ballet school and cancelled Marie's lessons because even though it was against the rules Karen had set long ago she'd chosen to take on Marie as a client and the hours Marie had her lessons were the only times Karen could see her. Ashley, Alexa and Marie had several shows lined up but we'd cancelled Marie's since she'd moved to Pam's.

A few weeks ago Karen'd gone into Anna's class to help them make fall leaves. When it got to the middle of the month I'd be going in to help them make Halloween decorations. I'd given Alexa a few of my books with prints done by Frida Kahlo and Diego Rivera so she and Tom could choose a costume to wear to a Halloween party they were going to after Kate had told me her idea. She and I were going to make them, along with the costumes she and Anna were going to wear on Halloween. Kate was going as an alien and Anna was going as a crayon. At 13, Kate was finally old enough to take her younger sister out trick-or-treating and she was very excited about this, one of the few things that excited her these days.

Ever since Karen had taken Marie on as a client she'd become even busier. Since I was at home more, I knew more about how Kate was doing and our other daughters. Karen's life still centered around Kate, though, busy as she was.

The other day Kate'd walked into my room when I was starting on a picture of my sister Kate. My daughter and I'd talked about my sister, who'd died about 20 years ago from leukemia. They shared a lot of similarities, going deeper than the cancer that was slowly killing my daughter. Kate had lied on my bed and asked me to tell her a story about the stars, the one about Pandora which she'd always liked.

It was nice having these father-daughter moments which would become few and far between as Kate grew older, as they had between Marie and I. Other than Evan, Amanda'd distanced herself from everyone around her. A few weeks after her 13th birthday she'd started pulling apart.


	47. Chapter 74

Louisa

I'd taken the bus to school that morning then after school gone to pansy's.

Louisa

Pansy and I were at the big front door of her big white house that afternoon. Shed invited me over during school that day. She unlocked and opened the door. We stepped inside and she closed and locked the door behind us. We put our stuff to the right of us on the wooden floor. The big house was cold and dark.

"moms on tour, again," pansy told me annoyed.

"oh," was all I said.

Her mother much like her daughter was a dancer and frequently on tour.

"where?" I asked.

"London."

"oh my sisters from London."

I looked ahead at the big wire sprawling staircase. Behind which were huge windows.

"wow," I said.

"yeah it's a pain to get the curtains over the windows which is why we never do. But I hate the light," pansy said.

"there are curtains?"

"yeah see?"

I looked and right at the very top of the windows were rolled up curtains.

"oh yeah."

"lets go to my room."

"ok."

The staircase reminded me of the one in the movie nancy drew in which emma Roberts plays nancy drew.

"it reminds me of the one in nancy drew," I said.

"yeah me too," pansy said as we neared the staircase.

"so what mysteries lurk here?"

"oh only my own."

"oh."

"though my grandmother does have a fascination w/ a woman by t he name of Lillian gish."

'"never heard of her."

"yeah most havent. Im so hungry. God there are a lot of stairs," pansy said as we began climbing them.

They were wide.

"then why don't you just eat?" I said.

She looked at me; "that's like telling an alcoholic to stop drinking. Its not that simple."

"oh. Sorry."

"no I know. Happens a lot. Youre not the only one who misunderstands earing disorders."

Which is interesting since my own sister has one.

"youre welcome to anything you want in the kitchen," pansy told me, "you know. Whenever."

"ok thanks."

"sure."


	48. Uncomfortable Floor

**Evan**

After I'd met Rebecca yesterday - Saturday - we'd gone back to my place. I went to my parents for dinner and shed stayed back in my place as we'd both decided it was too soon for her to meet my family. At dinner that night my parents had questioned Rose on her newest clothes, shoes and jewelry. Dinner was interrupted by Kate getting sick. We'd gone back to my place. On Sunday Rebecca and I'd gone back to my parents where Kate had been sick. She'd met Kate. I was now back at my place and Rebecca was presumably downtown.

"Evan!" was the first thing I heard when I walked into my apartment that day.

It was Mandy.

I closed and locked the door behind me and then walked into the bathroom. My sister was on the white tile floor covered with blankets. There were more blankets under her and her head was resting on a white pillow. She had paled and was shivering under the blankets. The bathroom smelled awful and both the toilet lids had been left open.

"Omygod what happened? Are you ok?" I asked.

"I'm sick," she told me, looking up at me from her spot on the floor.

Her blue eyes were large and full of fear. Tears shone in them.

"Oh, my god."

"You have a very uncomfortable floor here," she told me.

"I know. I'm sorry," I apologised.

I thought back to what she'd told me a few weeks ago; "everything's uncomfortable when you live with bones sticking out of you".

She had blankets under her in order to make herself more comfortable, I realised.

"You haven't eaten yet have you?" I asked.

"No. I've been to dizzy to nauseaus to get up and get cranberry juice. Or 7 up. Or something."

"Which has only made you sicker. Lie on your side so you don't aspirate like Hendrix."

"But. I'm dizzy," she protested.

"Amanda. Which is worse? Choking to death or being dizzy?" I asked.

She knew I had a point.

She turned over on her side.

I'd gone from one sick sibling to the next.

"I'm so cold," Amanda said.

"You don't have enough body fat to stay warm for long periods of time Amanda," I told her, slightly annoyed; "I'll see if I can find some cranberry juice."

I walked out of the bathroom and into the kitchen where I opened the fridge.

"It appears we're all-" I began but was interrupted by a knock on the door.

"Yeah?" I asked.

"Evan," came her soft quiet voice.

Here was the woman who would make it all better.

I went to the door and opened it. There stood Rebecca holding a large bottle of cranberry juice.

"Hey," I said, glad to see her.

"Hi."

I opened the door and she drifted in, closing it behind her.

"How'd you find me? And why'd you bring the juice?" I asked.

"I followed the stars," she answered

"My grandfather used to do that."

"And I kind of had a feeling you'd need it."

"Oh. How's Kate?"

"She finally fell asleep."

"That's such a violent phrase. Who wants to _fall_ asleep?" I pointed out.

"Who wants to fall in love?" Rebecca countered.

She set the juice on the table to the right of the door. Then pulled closer to me and kissed me.

"Now that," I said, "I can handle."

I wrapped my arm around her waist and we walked to the couch which we sat down on.

"Kate seems to really like you. According to her you're just lovely," I told Rebecca.

She smiled.

"How are you though?" she asked.

"Mandy's sick, so."

"Right. Has she eaten?"

"No."

"Oh."

"She's in the bathroom."

"Ok."

"I went from one sick sibling to the next."

I exhaled, tensing. Rebecca ran her delicate fingers up and down my back.

"Better?" she asked.

"A little."

I stood up. Rebecca knew where I was going.

I left.

* * *

-XXX-

After I left my place earlier that day I'd gone to set a fire then returned to my place where Rebecca and I'd kept Mandy company for a few hours untill dinner time. Rebecca and Mandy were back at my place and I was at my parents.

That night, I was over at Mom and Dad's. Louisa, Hannah, Ashley, Tom, Alexa, Mom, Dad, Pam and myself were sitting in the dining room on mahagony chairs, around the long rectangular mahagony table. A large pot of pasta, a basket of garlic bread and a green plastic can of parmesan cheese were on the table in front of us. Mandy was back at my place with Rebecca and Marie was at Pam's. Kate was upstairs, still asleep. Lily and Rose were off somewhere. Somewhere outside the sun was setting.

"How was work today?" Dad asked Mom.

"Ok, fairly busy. Marie still won't talk."

"Oh."

"How's Kate?"

"Ok. Still asleep."

"She woke up this morning at 4," Tom informed our parents.

Beside me I heard Louisa let out a small sigh.

Mom looked at Tom.

"Oh? Why?" she asked.

"Because she was sick, Mrs. Brewer."

As Kate had been on and off ever since she was 2.

"No I mean what specifically?"

"Oh."

"If you were home more you'd know this," Ashley muttered.

"Ashley," Mom said, looking at her.

"I'm jus sayin."

"Y'know...Pam told me the exact same thing."

"Well. She's right."

"I don't mean to be rude Mrs. Brewer but they're both right," Tom said politely.

"Has Marie talked to you?" Mom asked Ashley.

She nodded; "yeah. A little."

Mom's gaze returned to Tom. They picked up where they'd left off.

Dad looked at me.

"How's Amanda?" he asked.

"Ok I guess. Frustrated," I told him.

"Mmm."

"She hasn't eaten very much."

"Because of Kate?"

I nodded.

"What about Kate?" Mom asked quickly, looking at me.

"Oh, nothing. Never mind."

"Ok."


	49. Chapter 77

**5 p.m.**

* * *

**Tom**

It was 5 that night. My girlfriend alexa, her family and I were sitting around the large round mahogany dinner table in the dining room at her place.

"How's Kate?" Alexa's mom Mrs. Brewer asked her dad Mr. Fitzgerald.

"Ok, still asleep," he replied.

"She woke up this morning at 4," I told them, raising a fork with pasta twirled around it.

Next to Evan, Louisa let out a small sigh. Mrs. Brewer looked at me.

"Oh? Why?" Alexa's mom asked me.

"Because she was sick Mrs. Brewer," I said, annoyed.

Although I thought this was fairly obvious, since the only reason Kate ever woke up at odd hours was due to her cancer.

"No, I mean what specifically?"

"Oh."

"If you were home more you'd know this," Ashley muttered, also annoyed.

"Ashley," her mom said, looking at her.

"I'm jus sayin."

Mrs. Brewer, a psychologist, worked all day from 9 to 5, sometimes untill 6. which meant she wasn't home a lot during the day.

"Y'know Ashley...Pam told me the exact same thing," Mrs. Brewer said.

Mrs. Brewer's friend Pam and Mrs. Brewer were involved. They'd been friends since elementary school and had recently met up.

"I don't mean to be rude Mrs. Brewer," I said, "but they're both right."

She sighed.

"What happened this morning?" she asked me.

"Kate was vomiting. I got her some ginger ale."

"Oh."


	50. Chapter 100

_Tom_

_It was the day I met ginger. Not Rebecca/ginger but actual ginger. The one who turned out not to be lovely. No actually she was the complete opposite and only sweet when she wanted something from you. It was before I met alexa. Id met her in February of last year and ginger on a cold bleary day in November._

_I was waiting to get a blood transfusion when ginger walked in. she stood tall in a long dark unbuttoned coat and tall black boots. Her long red hair was dyed black at the tups. Under her coat she was wearing a long black dress. The bodice of which was entirely ribbon wrapped around her body._

"_hey im here to give blood," she told me approaching me._

"_um. that's great but I really cant help you," I replied._

"_wheres the nurse? And is there anywhere to smoke in here?"_

"_idinno. Elsewhere? And no you have to smoke outside."_

_She leaned in. closer putting both hands on either side of me on the armrests. Her smell was intoxicating._

"_tom," she said to a space above me._

_I wondered why she was looking above me and not at me. And then when I looked up I realized why. Shed pushed her boobs right in front of me._

"_do you think you could go get the nurse for me? I mean im short on time here and you seem like a nice guy. A really nice guy," she whispered._

"_um im really not supposed to-"_

"_you know you have really nice eyes. I love. Eyes that color."_

"_o-k ill. Try to find the nurse."_


	51. Chapter 79

Louisa

After I'd gone to pansy's I'd gone back home.

* * *

It was after dinner several hours later.

That night I got dressed in a pair of Marie's thigh high black stilettos and a green wrap dress. I made my way out my room down the stairs out the door of our house and down the street to an underage bar.

"Hi what can I get ya?" the bartender asked a young woman I knew from school asked looking up when I cam in.

"Um. You, work here?" I asked.

"Yeah I gotta make money somehow. Now what can I get ya happy hours about to start."

"Um a sprite….." I told her sitting down on one of the round bar stools.

"You're gonna want a Malibu. Trust me."

"Uh ok."

"Sorry don't mean to rush you I just."

"No. I get it."

She was about my height already nicely filled out. With blue eyes and feathery Farah Fawcett blonde hair. She had on gold star earrings.

"I like your earrings," I told her while she was getting my drink.

"Thank you. It's, the space age."

"What?"

"You know, space age. Bowie. The '70's."

"Um. It's not the '70's."

"No I know that. And who's Bowie?"

She paused turned. Stared.

"Seriously? Who's Bowie?"

"Um….."

"Moonage daydream? Ziggy Stardust?"

"Yeah that sounds…vaguely familiar."

"Here."

She pulled something out from under the bar and put it on the table in front of me. The book was a photo album.

"Go on you can look through it," she told me sensing my hesitance.

"Uh ok."

I opened the book. There were pictures and drawings of famous people. And song lyrics. There was one of a young woman who looked like the bartender.

"This you?" I asked looking up.

"Hm? Oh no. that's Cherie Currie. For whom I was named. My mom loved her growing up."

"Uh…?"

"The Runaways?"

I was still lost.

"The '70's band?"

She realised I wasn't getting it.

"Oh god you have a lot to learn. I take it you've never seen The Runaways."

"Uh no.

"Well how bout we go over to my place and watch it?"

"Uh ok."

"Great."

She leaned over and pointed at a picture of a guy with a lightning bolt on his forehead.

"Oh and that's Bowie," she told me.

"Wow. He's really…..wow."

"Totally out there? Yeah I know."


	52. why the drinks kitten?

**Tuesday**

**2 a.m.**

**Louisa**

After the bar closed at 2 a.m. the young woman - Cherie - and I walked outside. Where it was surprisingly cold and dark.

"Wow it's cold," I said not expecting it.

"Here," she said pulling me close; "better?"

I was surprised by her touch.

"Um. Yeah," I said.

It was, actually. She was warm.

"Good. I wouldn't want you to get cold miss."

"Louisa," I supplied.

"Yeah I know."

"Oh."

"So where's your place?"

"Oh it's just down the street not far. We'll walk."

"Oh. Ok."

We started walking.

"You know I've seen you around school," she told me, "and your sister."

"Yeah Mandy. I've seen you around too."

"Well I'm kindof hard to miss."

Which was true. With her hair and earrings and makeup and sometimes the platform boots she wore she was hard to miss.

She began singing; "there's a starman waiting in the sky…"

The song sounded vaguely familiar. I think my brother Evan had played it a few times..

"It's, still dark," I said surprised.

"You seem really surprised by that," she said.

"Well it's just, I'm never out at this hour."

"Oh. Yeah well its not exactly 7 a.m."

"And I guess you are?"

"Yeah every night into morning that I work. And even when I don't work. I'm usually never home."

"You don't like home?"

"No what's there to like? Maries usually out. She's the popular one. And moms…..well. Moms out too but in a different way."

I wondered what she meant by that.

"Wow," I said quietly.

I couldn't imagine what it would be like to have your family 'out' as she put it. To basically not care.

"And your dad?" I asked.

"He's in Indonesia where he has been for a year now. He cares he's just not here to care."

"Oh."

My family cared. Well my mom did before her accident. All about Kate. And when she wasn't busy w/ Kate she was busy w/ Mandy. It seemed to Mandy that mom spent more time w/ Kate than her. My dad always made sure he had time for us.

So in a way I did understand what it was like for your family to be 'out'. Just not as 'far out' as it were as hers seemingly was.

"But don't you have any other friends?" I asked hoping I didn't come off like I was verbally attacking Cherie.

"Well I…I did. Lita was a bitch from day 1, Sandy she. She um died. Joan and I still talk, sometimes. Like I said Marie's the popular one. She's the one w/ the friends."

"Oh. What'd she die of?"

"Cancer."

"Oh."

I knew how that felt.

"Um. How old are you?" I asked.

"17 and you?"

"Oh. 14."

"Oh."

She was the same age as my sister Ashley.

"So, wait…if you're 17 then…why do I see you hanging around the middle school sometimes?"

"It reminds me of who I was ya know?"

I nodded stared into the dark; "yeah. Yeah I do."

"But now I have you. And we have each other. And that's all we need. That's what Joan taught me. Right?"

"Yeah….right."

"You don't sound entirely convinced."

"I've just. Never done this."

"Yeah I get that. But don't trip out man it'll be ok."

I smiled at this.

"But I make up for it by wearing makeup and those boots and dressing like Bowie. Oh and Cherie Currie," she told me.

"Um. For what?"

"Not being popular. When you're 17.….or. When you're in high school. Or both. All of that matters. But it's all so stupid. Like that's the most important thing."

"Yeah I know. I mean that its stupid. Not that…I'm 17."

"Right. That's not the only reason. I dress like Bowie."

I noticed she hadn't taken her arm off mine. I hadn't indicated that I wanted her too. But I wondered about this. If she was just the touchy type or if she actually liked me.

In fact what she was doing now was running her fingers up and down my arms over the cuts.

"You're ropy," she observed.

"Yeah I…..um….." I felt the need to apologise.

"No it's ok. I know. We all have our addictions. And like I said. I've seen you at school."

Right that's right. Sometimes I forgot to cover the cuts.

"So what's a nice girl like you doing in a bar like mine? And why the drinks kitten?" she asked squeezing me.

At the bar I'd had 2 malibus. It was the first time I ever drank.

-XXX-

When we got to her place she threw open the wood front door after unlocking it.

"Mom I'm home," she called.

No answer.

"No of course not. I always do it anyway just because. It was a rule instilled in me when I was your age. Come in don't stand there freezin."

"Um ok."

I smiled. She sounded like a senior citizen.

I stepped inside letting the door slam behind me. I started jumped.

"God that's loud," I commented.

"Yeah sorry bout that," Cherie told me; "hey I'll be right back ok? Have a seat make yourself comfortable."

"Ok."

She walked down a dark hall.

I looked around the room. There was a tv pushed against one wall and on the wall opposite was a big poster of a guy w/ a lightning bolt on his forehead the same one I'd seen in her book at the bar.

Which reminded me…..wed forgotten the book at the bar.

In between the 2 walls was a black leather couch and in front of that a black coffee table w/ white powder cut into lines. Next to which was a dollar bill.

I wondered what it was.

"Mom there's someone I want you to meet," Cherie said from somewhere; "cmon it won't take long."

A pause then "hey Louisa! Cmon in here," she called.

I looked around unsure of where 'here' was.

"Um. Where?" I asked.

"Down the hall."

Oh ok.

I went down the dark hall shed gone down earlier and into a dark room shed been in earlier.

I could make out her standing by a bed in which a thin figure was.

"Hey," she said looking at me smiling.

"Mom this is my friend Louisa," she told the figure in the bed who lifted its head.

"Mmm hi. I'm Marie," the figure said.

Now that shed spoken I could tell she was a woman.

"Hi nice to meet you Miss…..Marie," I told her unsure of how to address her.

"Mmm you too."

Although she didn't sound particularly pleased about it. Or, unpleased, really. She was indifferent.

Still though I found it rude. A bit off putting. And I could see what Cherie meant.

"Cmon. I gotta get her some stuff from the kitchen," Cherie told me.

I followed her back down the hall and into a kitchen where she turned on the light.

"Wow that was. Um…" I tried to think of something nice to say.

Cherie rinsed out a Jack Daniels bottle and put it upside down in the dish rack next to 3 others.

"No it's alrite I know she can be rude. She's not it's just. That. She's too damn hungover to care," she explained.

"Oh," I said surprised by this admission.

"Yeah that's right my moms an alcoholic."

"Oh hey, you forgot your book. At the bar."

"That's alrite I'll get Marie to get it."

"Ok."

She went to the fridge and took out a giant green bottle of 7Up. This connected me to my own house where we always had it on hand for Kate.

At that moment my phone rang. It was Evan.

"Scuse me," I said as she took down a cup from the overhead wood cabinets and set it on the counter.

"Sure go right ahead. I have to bring this in to Mom anyway," she said dismissing me w/ a wave of her hand.

"Ok."

I flipped my phone open.

"Yeah?" I asked.

"Hey where are you?" my brother asked.

Down the hall I heard Cherie talking to her mom; "I'll put on the dresser for when you wake up. You need to get something in you besides alcohol. I see you've left the water. As usual."

She sounded annoyed.

"Louisa?" Evan asked.

"Huh? Oh at a friend's," I told him.

"Ok well do you know when you'll be back?"

"No we're going to watch a movie so it could be a few hours."

"Ok well can I talk to her mom?"

"Her mom's…asleep," I said deciding now wasn't the best time to tell Evan about Marie.

"Ok do you need a ride to school?"

"I'll let you know."

"Ok."

We hung up.

On the wall next to the poster was a poster of Van Gogh's 'starry starry night'. On the other side of the 1st poster was 1 of Led Zeppelins 'stairway to heaven'.

"And you still haven't eaten the pasta I left for you in the fridge," Cherie said from the room annoyed.

I heard her talking to someone else; "yeah hey listen…I left the book at the bar so if you could pick it up…the keys are where they always are. Check your glove box. No ok. Oh I know under it. Ok. Also I brought a friend home so don't be too loud. Ok in an hour. Yeah sure. Bye."

She came walking down the hall singing; "starry starry night paint your palette blue and gray…"

Upon hearing it I liked the song.

"I like that song. And the posters," I told her.

"Yeah the song sortof stitches me. Up. When my stitching's about to break. Or cut apart."

She looked down at my arms. For reference. Which I wasn't at all put out by.

"The Zeppelin poster's Marie's. The other one's mine."

"Oh."

She went over to the silver DVD on the floor next to the DVD player opened the player and popped it in.

"Do you want anything to drink before we start? Or, a blanket?" she asked me.

"Um yeah sure," I answered.

I was a little cold in the room.

"Which?"

"Both."

"Ok 1 Malibu comin right up."

"Ok sounds good."

I plopped down on the couch.

"Marie'll be home in an hour," she muttered taking a glass down from the cabinets; "from the club."

She'd mentioned Marie a few times now. I wondered who Marie was.

"Marie? The club?" I asked.

"Oh my sister. And the underage club. It closed about 20 minutes ago."

"Oh."

She brought the Malibu over to me and set it on the table.

"There ya go," she said.

"Thanks."

"Sure. Now I'll just get a blanket and we'll get started."


	53. glitter queen and family talk

We'd just sat down on the couch under the big black down comforter when Cherie stood.

"I, forgot to do something. Cmon," she said.

I stood too; "it's not like. Weird is it."

"Um not like. S&m weird no though I don't know what you consider weird."

"Oh. Well I think you're pretty cool."

I followed her down the hall and into the bathroom where she flicked on the light. She went in I stood at the doorway. She bent down and opened the wood cabinets under the sink. She stood having closed the cabinet doors and set whatever it was on the sink next to a plastic cup of water and paintbrush which was on top of the cup.

I now saw that what shed taken out of the cabinet was face paint.

She opened it and started painting her face putting blue dots along her eyes above the teal eye shadow she'd been wearing previously. I watched her in awe.

"Wow," I said.

As her hands moved I noticed there was body glitter on her hands.

"Yeah it's something I always do right before. Well. You'll find out," she told me; "I could do yours too if you wanted."

"No not today."

"Ok."

"You're so, cool with all of this."

She paused holding the paintbrush. She looked at me.

"Do I look like I'm trippin out?" she said.

"No."

"Right exactly," she turned back to the mirror, "the more you do the less you trip out the less you worry. And care. Not, in a bad way."

"Oh."

The more you do of what? I wondered.

"Hey what's that white stuff?" I asked.

"White stuff?"'

"Yeah on the coffee table."

"Oh that's coke."

"Coke?"

"Yeah."

"So you just…leave it out?"

"Yeah why not? It's not like Mom cares and Marie does the same thing."

"Oh."

"Listen. Don't think me a bitch for saying this. But. You really need to be les….timid. I'm sorry to put it this way. And I'm sorry to be annoyed w/ you when you've done nothing."

"Yeah but…why maybe that's why you can be," I mused.

"Yeah. Exactly. Anyway wanna lude?"

"Lude?"

"It means do drugs. it's a '70's term. Its actually short for Quaaludes a '70's, drug. Which I don't think you can get any more. Not that I know of."

"Oh."

That's right she liked the '70's.

"Cuz I'm going to. I mean you don't have to."

"Oh. And no."

"Alrite that's fine."

She put the finishing touches on her makeup and put the brush in the cup of water.

"There done," she said turning.

"Wow," I said looking.

Her face was all done up.

"I like the blue."

"Thanks. The glitter queen, is back. As she is every night," she proclaimed dramatically, "now cmon lets get started."

I followed her out of the bathroom and into the living room.

* * *

-XXX-

We'd settled onto her couch and were watching the DVD. Her small place was astonishingly quiet.

"Wow it's so….quiet," I said.

"Yeah it's always this quiet. Well. Unless Marie and her friends are here and then it's crazy and loud. So ok not always," she said.

"Yeah my house is like never quiet. Its really. Wow."

"Another thing you're surprised by."

I smiled.

"You know you don't much about your family," she observed.

"Well. My mom's not really there centering her life around my younger sister Kate who has cancer."

"So you know."

"Yeah I do. And when it's not Kate I'ts my twin Mandy. Who has an eating disorder. I have 8 other siblings 1 brother. He's the oldest. Anna's the youngest at 10."

"Wow. Sounds interesting."

"Yeah never a dull moment at our place."

"And what about your dad?" she asked.

"He always tries to make sure he has time for us."

"Wow."

"But he's….he's not really the one I need. He's not the one any of us needs. I mean I love him obviously being my dad. It's just. He's not Mom."

"Yeah I know. So that's why you cut."

"Yeah. And apparently that's why I'm drinking now too."

"No I get it. Let me know if you get sick or something," she told me.

"Ok."

Again I smiled.

"4 of us are adopted. Rose, Hannah, Lily, Alexa and Ashley. Rose is from England Hannah's from Boston as is Alexa. Ashley's from New York. We really don't know much about Lily," I said.

"s

S o you got family from all over," Cherie said.

"Yeah."

"I'd love to meet them sometime," Cherie said smiling.

"Maybe you will."

We were watching a scene in which the actual Cherie Currie played by the amazing Dakota Fanning was getting her period. It was at the very start of the movie.

"This is kindof a gross scene," I commented.

"Yeah I know. But it's a great scene too an important one. It shows her becoming a woman," Cherie said.

"Yeah but some of us become women before we're ready," I said thinking of Mandy.

"Yeah. I know."


	54. 4 malibus david drunk

**3 a.m.**

We were halfway into the movie when the front door banged open startling the quiet. I jumped startled.

"God Marie! Do ya have to come in like that?" Cherie asked looking to the side.

"Well I'm sorry," a female voice said.

"Don't scare her."

Cherie looked at me; "sorry about that. You alrite?"

"Yeah I'm. Good."

Although I was starting to feel a little sick. I put the drink I was holding on the coffee table.

I looked to the side where a young woman who looked exactly like Cherie was standing w/ 4 other people her age.

"Close the door you're letting in the draft," Cherie told her.

The room was made colder by the cold air coming in from outside.

"Sorry," one of the guys standing w/ the people said.

The door slammed shut behind him.

"Marie," Cherie said.

The blonde looked at her; "yeah?"

"This is my friend from school Louisa. Louisa, this is my twin Marie," Cherie introduced.

"Hi nice to meet you," I told her.

"You too you're pretty," she told me.

I smiled; "thanks. Um. You too.

"Looks like you chose a good one. How's Mom?" Marie asked her sister.

"The same."

"Oh."

She and the people came into the room setting their stuff everywhere.

"Well we're going to cook ya want anything?" Marie asked going to the kitchen.

"Now?" Cherie asked obviously surprised.

"Yes now. Now do you want anything or not?"

"No."

Cherie stood going to the kitchen.

"How was the club and did you bring my book?" she asked her sister.

"Good and still in the car."

"The one thing I asked you to do," Cherie was annoyed.

"Dude don't trip out. Danll get it."

Marie turned to a guy on her left; "hon wouldya get the book?"

"y

Yeah sure," he replied; "keys?"

"Coffee table."

He got the car keys from the coffee table and left.

"I didn't ask for Dan to get the book I asked for you to get the book," Cherie said.

"Don't you trust him?"

"That's not the point and you know it."

Meanwhile I was still feeling sick on the couch.

Another guy came over to the couch and sat on the edge of the coffee table.

"Hey, David," he introduced peering into my eyes; "Louisa right?"

"Um," I swallowed my nausea, "yeah."

"You don't look so good you alrite?"

"Um. I'm a little sick."

"She means she's dru-unk," Marie said.

"Shut up," Cherie told her sister.

Tears sprang to my eyes.

"Sorry about that she can be kindof rude. She's like the other, Marie," David told me.

"Thanks," I managed.

"Sure."

I didn't know what being drunk felt like since I never had been before.

"I don't know what being drunk feels like," I said.

David looked at the half empty Malibu on the table and then at me.

"How many of these have you had?" he asked.

"Uh. that's my 4th."

"Yeah. You're drunk."

Oh god.

"But I was the one who chose to…."

"No I got it you're fine."

"Ok."

He turned to the kitchen.

"Cherie. Will ya and come help your friend instead of arguing w/ your sister?" he told her.

Cherie looked at me wide eyed; "oh shit I totally forgot. Omygod I am so sorry man. Thanks Dave."

She came over to the table and took the glass off the table.

"No more malibus for you kitten," she proclaimed, "cmon lets get you to the bathroom. Can you stand ok?"

She handed the glass to Dave who took it.

"Hey Marie ya want a drink?" he asked her standing.

Cherie came to my side and helped me stand. We went into the bathroom where I promptly emptied my insides.

"Omygod I feel awful," I said.

"Yeah well that's what being drunk feels like man," she told me.

"I'm drunk here do you mind?"

She sighed; "I'm sorry. It's not your fault."

"Yeah me too."

"Y'know. It's funny. Mom drinks and yet when we do she trips out over it. Which is why we can't let her know."

"I keep secrets."

"No I didn't mean you."

"Oh."

"Hey I'll be right back I'm gonna get you some sprite."

"Ok."

She left.

* * *

**4 a.m.**

It was about an hour later. We were in the bathroom. Marie and her friends were in the living room eating the 'dinner' they'd cooked earlier and watching the DVD. The bathroom door was closed. I was unexpectedly in Cherie's arms. The house was quiet. I was on my 2nd cup of sprite drinking it slowly. Being in her arms felt nice.

"Hey," I said.

"Hm?" she said from behind me.

"What did you sister mean by 'you picked a good one' ?"

"Oh that.

"Yeah."

"Well for the longest time I've wanted a girlfriend."

"Oh. So then are we…?"

"Well if you want to be. I mean we seem to have really it off."

"I've never had a girlfriend. Or a boyfriend for that matter."

"Oh wow. I've never had a girlfriend either and even when I have it wasn't really. It didn't really count. Either we fought or she was only using me for drugs. Or something."

Then it's a good thing I didn't do drugs.

"So I mean I have but I. haven't."

"Yeah I get it."

I settled back into her arms and took another sprite.

"Thanks for the. You know. Sprite and everything," I told her.

"Sure."

"David's nice."

"Yeah he's very nice. My sister on the other hand is not exactly the nicest person sometimes."

"Yeah I've gathered."

"She's as annoyed by Mom as I am. Only she deals w/ it by not being here."

"Oh."

A pause then…"hey you ever been kissed? By someone who matters I mean. n

Not, like your parents. Well they matter just…." Cherie asked.

"No."

I got what she was saying.

"So my 1st kiss is going to be a drunken one?" I asked.

"If you want it to be."

"Um. Ok."

She slowly lowered me to the hard tile floor and kissed me.


	55. Chapter 86

Louisa

That morning instead of being at school I was still at maries. Id phoned evan and told him I was getting a ride from a friend. I knew hed believe me bc well id never lied before. After which id texted pansy and lauren and told them I wasn't feeling well which is why I wouldn't be in school and to tell evan that if he asled. Which was sortof true. I mean I wasn't feeling well and therefore wouldn't be at school. Where I didn't want to go. Truth was I was drunk. I knew cheries mom wouldn't notice or care and her sister and her sisters friends barely paid any attention to me when wed met.


	56. Chapter 87

**Kate**

It was the middle of the night. Everyone was asleep. Evan and Tom had returned to the house. It was quiet.

I was woken up by my body lurching up and forward. My eyes flew open and the first thing I saw was blood. Thick red blood running down my face.

"Da-" I started to yell for my dad but the words were barely out of my mouth before my comforter was covered in blood from my mouth.

Omygod.

In all my years I don't think I have _ever_ been this sick. And if I had I most certainly didn't remember it.

I lurched forward and vomited onto my bed.

Not only was I bleeding but I was also shivering and nauseous. I kept sputtering out blood.

I heard footsteps rush down the hall.

I couldn't stare at anything but my comforter so I didn't know who it was untill I heard the voice.

"Omygod," Tom whispered.

"Mr. Fitzgerald! Evan! Get in here! Now!" he yelled.

I heard his footsteps come closer to my bed and something soft and smelling of musk being pressed against my nose.

2 more pairs of footsteps rushed into the room. One of them approached the bed and held me in his arms.

"Waste basket," my brother's voice said.

Then: "Dad! Waste basket. Now!"

Something was moved onto my bed.

"Baby? Are you ok?" Dad asked.

"Of course she's not ok! She's sick! What the hell is the matter with you?" Tom shouted


End file.
